There’s no shame in showing a little skin if you want to, but sometimes dress codes say otherwise. If your closet is packed to the brim with tube tops and short shorts, here’s how you can make those risqué outfits work for you!
1. Layer up with that tan Kikiriki from middle school
We all have one crumpled in the back of our closet. There’s no better shirt to cover every inch of skin you might want to show. Layer it with some cute lingerie and no one will know the difference.
2. Get a breast reduction
Girls with big titties have a harder time getting away with tops that are more than two fingers below the collar bone. If you bring your busty chest down to a B or C, you might even get away with a v-neck.
3. Be a man
You must be swift as a coursing river. With all the force of the great typhoon. But in all seriousness, if you’re a boy, you can probably get away with wearing a tank top or shorts – or even a short skirt, if you’re doing it to be funny. (It is really funny when they do that.)
4. Try a bodycon maxi skirt
If the Kardashians can do it, so can you. Get a skirt so tight you can see thong lines in it (but Hashem forbid we see your knees). Your ass will thank you, but don’t try running down the hallway to get to class on time.
5. Donate a ton of money to the school
As long as your parents keep the money flowing, the administration can’t touch you. Have them donate a new Torah or something and go buy yourself a cute mini skirt – you deserve it!