Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers

QUEENS, NY — Following staffing shortages at Ramaz Upper School, the principal, Mr. Joshua Adelman, was seen Monday in John F. Kennedy International Airport Terminal 4 searching for potential Hebrew teachers arriving from an El-Al flight. “We’re looking for anyone that can speak the language, basically,” Adelman told reporters while hiding behind a large fernContinue reading “Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers”

White South African Jew Insists He Is Technically African-American at College Interview

BOCA RATON, FL — In the midst of an interview with a delegate of Brown University’s admissions office which would help determine his acceptance into the ranks of the esteemed college, Itai Shapiro was heard making the argument that he is technically African-American despite his apparent lack of melanin. Shapiro claimed that since he wasContinue reading “White South African Jew Insists He Is Technically African-American at College Interview”

Jews Win War On Christmas

NORTH POLE, ARCTIC OCEAN — Following a decisive military victory on Thursday the 23rd with the capture of Santa Claus, Jewish communities across the country are celebrating their triumph as they warmly welcome back veterans of the War on Christmas. After years of armed struggles, from the infamous Starbucks front to the dreadful Twitter tactics,Continue reading “Jews Win War On Christmas”