7 Life Hacks For Avoiding Social Interaction On Ben Yehuda Street

We Jews don’t generally believe in a hell, but if it’s out there, it’s an infinite loop of walking down Ben Yehuda street while an endless string of barely-known acquaintances from high school and various shabbatons start benign small talk with you. While we may be forced into it every once in a while, here’sContinue reading “7 Life Hacks For Avoiding Social Interaction On Ben Yehuda Street”

5 Manischewitz Cocktails To Make Havdalah Havda-lit

Hosting havdalah can be absolutely nerve-wracking. Preparing food and drinks is one thing, not to mention the inevitable judgement that comes with being in any group of Jews – but worry no more! Here are 5 Manischewitz cocktails that will impress even the pickiest of drinkers! Jello Shots: You can’t go wrong with a partyContinue reading “5 Manischewitz Cocktails To Make Havdalah Havda-lit”

5 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Projects That Are Way Cooler Than Raising Money For Some Stupid Charity

We’ve all been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah where the kid does a project that aims to better their community – and let us be the first to say, big whoop. Oh, cool, you collected food for a food bank! Wow, you raised money for a children’s hospital, how original! If you really wantContinue reading “5 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Projects That Are Way Cooler Than Raising Money For Some Stupid Charity”

Rad! 5 Davening Tricks to Assert Your Dominance in Your Community’s Minyan

If you’re anything like me, you sometimes feel insignificant in the sea of other congregants at your local minyan. Maybe you dream of absolutely shredding some gnarly Tehillim to impress those on the other side of the mechitza. Well, boy oh boy, do I have some tips for you – listen loud and listen clear,Continue reading “Rad! 5 Davening Tricks to Assert Your Dominance in Your Community’s Minyan”

4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion

Ever wanted to get frisky with some post-marital lovin’, but feel uncomfortable getting it on in the missionary position considering our religion forbids actively attempting to convert gentiles? Well you’re in luck! Here are four hot and heavy positions to try next time you push the beds together, just in time for Tu B’Av –Continue reading “4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion”

Ranking Jewish Marvel Actors By How Proud Their Character’s Mother Would Be (SPOILERS)

Do not read ahead if you’re not up to date on the Marvel Cinematic Universe!!  Really! Don’t! 11. Stan Lee 23 jobs in 11 years, traveling aimlessly around all corners of the universe, always close to danger at inopportune times, and never settling down. His poor mother must be so disappointed. Gage Skidmore, CC BYContinue reading “Ranking Jewish Marvel Actors By How Proud Their Character’s Mother Would Be (SPOILERS)”

5 Ways To Make Your Slutty Clothing Fit A Tznius Dress Code

There’s no shame in showing a little skin if you want to, but sometimes dress codes say otherwise. If your closet is packed to the brim with tube tops and short shorts, here’s how you can make those risqué outfits work for you! 1.  Layer up with that tan Kikiriki from middle school We allContinue reading “5 Ways To Make Your Slutty Clothing Fit A Tznius Dress Code”

10 Athletes You’ll Be Super Proud To Know Are Jewish

As Jews, we aren’t exactly known for our superior sports skills. But, have there been at least 10 successful Jewish athletes throughout the history of humankind? Let’s find out! 1. Sandy KoufaxNJB alert! Koufax was a pitcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers and one of the best arms in baseball. But he chose not to pitchContinue reading “10 Athletes You’ll Be Super Proud To Know Are Jewish”

Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are

Have you ever looked at a celebrity and thought “man, they have to be Jewish” – only to be disappointed when you check their Wikipedia page? Us too! Which is why we’ve compiled our top ten favorite fake-out goys! These are The Schmear’s official rankings of non-Jewish celebrities based on how Jewish they are. 10.Continue reading “Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are”

5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish

1. Wallace Shawn My family had a full-fledged argument at dinner about whether “the short guy from The Princess Bride” was still alive. Turns out he is not yet dead, and he is as Jewish as his name is goyish. 2. Bob Dylan Although reported dead by MSNBC in Nov 2020, this Nobel Laureate singer-songwriterContinue reading “5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish”