4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion

Ever wanted to get frisky with some post-marital lovin’, but feel uncomfortable getting it on in the missionary position considering our religion forbids actively attempting to convert gentiles? Well you’re in luck! Here are four hot and heavy positions to try next time you push the beds together, just in time for Tu B’Av –Continue reading “4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion”

Ranking Jewish Marvel Actors By How Proud Their Character’s Mother Would Be (SPOILERS)

Do not read ahead if you’re not up to date on the Marvel Cinematic Universe!!  Really! Don’t! 11. Stan Lee 23 jobs in 11 years, traveling aimlessly around all corners of the universe, always close to danger at inopportune times, and never settling down. His poor mother must be so disappointed. Gage Skidmore, CC BYContinue reading “Ranking Jewish Marvel Actors By How Proud Their Character’s Mother Would Be (SPOILERS)”

5 Ways To Make Your Slutty Clothing Fit A Tznius Dress Code

There’s no shame in showing a little skin if you want to, but sometimes dress codes say otherwise. If your closet is packed to the brim with tube tops and short shorts, here’s how you can make those risqué outfits work for you! 1.  Layer up with that tan Kikiriki from middle school We allContinue reading “5 Ways To Make Your Slutty Clothing Fit A Tznius Dress Code”

10 Athletes You’ll Be Super Proud To Know Are Jewish

As Jews, we aren’t exactly known for our superior sports skills. But, have there been at least 10 successful Jewish athletes throughout the history of humankind? Let’s find out! 1. Sandy KoufaxNJB alert! Koufax was a pitcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers and one of the best arms in baseball. But he chose not to pitchContinue reading “10 Athletes You’ll Be Super Proud To Know Are Jewish”

Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are

Have you ever looked at a celebrity and thought “man, they have to be Jewish” – only to be disappointed when you check their Wikipedia page? Us too! Which is why we’ve compiled our top ten favorite fake-out goys! These are The Schmear’s official rankings of non-Jewish celebrities based on how Jewish they are. 10.Continue reading “Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are”

5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish

1. Wallace Shawn My family had a full-fledged argument at dinner about whether “the short guy from The Princess Bride” was still alive. Turns out he is not yet dead, and he is as Jewish as his name is goyish. 2. Bob Dylan Although reported dead by MSNBC in Nov 2020, this Nobel Laureate singer-songwriterContinue reading “5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish”

Ten Ways to Let That Saucy Boy Across the Bar Know That You’d Let Him Wreck You 24 Hours a Day Except for on Shabbos

Ways to subtly (or not so subtly) let that cute ass boy across the bar that you are down to get straight up weird with him any day of the week, save for Friday night and Saturday until sundown. 1. Strut Your (Hebrew) Stuff The most obvious way to let a cute guy know thatContinue reading “Ten Ways to Let That Saucy Boy Across the Bar Know That You’d Let Him Wreck You 24 Hours a Day Except for on Shabbos”

5 Easy Purim Drinking Games to Make Your Mitzvah Fulfillment Lit AF

Purim is one of the best Jewish holidays for getting absolutely smashed – sure, we have four cups of wine on Pesach, but on this holy day we’re literally commanded to get blackout drunk. Here are some quick and efficient ways to take your holiday experience to the next level.  1. Take a shot forContinue reading “5 Easy Purim Drinking Games to Make Your Mitzvah Fulfillment Lit AF”

How to Fight Harmful Stereotypes with Poor Financial Decisions

You may be stuck with a larger-than-average nose and those awfully uncomfortable horns, but you don’t always have to be seen by goyim as the token Jew. Here are a few helpful tips on how you can get non-jews to think you’re just as frivolous as they are. 1. Buy into your cousin’s startup TelContinue reading “How to Fight Harmful Stereotypes with Poor Financial Decisions”

The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group

Yes, there are plenty of us who do not live in Jew-heavy areas – and quite often we end up the only Jew in our little group of friends. While we are often misunderstood, misrepresented, or flaunted for diversity, it’s not all bad! Here are some of the best parts of being the only JewContinue reading “The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group”