News Breaking: Kanye Likes Jewish People Again Scandalous: Romance Novel “Forbidden Love: The Kohen And The Divorcee” Banned From Synagogue Book Club Breaking: Peace Talks Between College Hillel And Chabad At Complete Standstill Zionist Group Protests Media Reports On Toxic Chemicals In East Palestine, Ohio Atheist Mom Disowns Son For Marrying Non-Jew Weird: Nothing Antisemitic In The News Today Breaking: Paskez Introduces New Bar Mitzvah Candy Crossbow For Maximum Impact Man Pissed “Yalla” Not Accepted By NYT Spelling Bee Secular College Student Plagued With Nightmares About Falling Off Derech AI Megillah Reading Devolves Into Mayhem After Not Programmed To Pause For Booing Get Over Yourself: Costumeless Guy At Purim Party Apparently Too Cool To Celebrate Kosher Butcher Awake At 2am Feverishly Pouring Over Pictures Of Giraffe Necks Uh Oh: Casual Ben Platt Hater Accidentally Joins Neo-Nazi Protest Report: Everyone Really Just Guessing At Hebrew Bananagrams Exposed: JNF Did Not Actually Plant That Tree In Your Sister’s Memory Breaking: New Mr. Beast Video Solves Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Mysterious: Yeshiva TV Loses Power During Rihanna Half Time Show Inspiring: Israeli Makes Aliyah, Moves To Queens Report: Kosher-Style Deli Makes Great Ham Sandwich Man Born On Tu BiShvat Mistaken For Tree Family Concerned Why Nice Jewish Boy Like You Still Single Haredi Political Party Announces New Plan To Combat Climate Change: Moshiach Scandalous: Woman Throws Sheitel On Stage At Harry Styles Concert Proposal Immediately Ruined After Man Pronounces Beshert “Ba-Shart” New Study Confirms Whole Wide World Bridge, Very Narrow Bridge Lonely Man Attends Services In Hopes Some Old Woman Calls Him “A Handsome Young Man” Child’s Memories Of Disneyland Ruined By Mom’s Cooler Of Kosher Salami Sandwiches Sex, Murder, Matzah: White Lotus Season Three To Take Place At Passover Program Brave: Son Volunteers Dad As Tribute After Minyan Goes Three Months Without Mourner’s Kaddish JSwipe In Small Midwestern Town Features Four Accounts, All Cousins Man Confused By Times Square Crowd Staring At Sky, Saw Three Stars Hours Ago Exciting: Grandma Found You Nice Jewish Girl Living Only 1,800 Miles Away Over It At This Point: Man Gives Girlfriend “Dick In A Box” For Eighth Consecutive Night Property Brothers Announce New HGTV Show Fixing Up Remains Of Second Temple Chinese Restaurant Checks For Circumcisions At Door On Christmas Eve Just In Time For Gifting Season: Rabbinate Drops New Cryptocurrency “GeltCoin” Brave: Family Places Menorah In Window For 100% Jewish Neighborhood To See Holiday About Small Amount Of Oil With Big Impact Huge Win For Man With Micropenis New Bath And Body Works Hanukkah Scented Candles Really Just Not Selling Demanding, Competitive Parents Hire Dreidel Tutor For Son Student Struck With Religious Inspiration, Says Shema Before Organic Chemistry Final Tragic: Woman Digging Through Chulent For Chunk Of Beef Fooled By Meat-Like Potato Mysterious Floater Friend Belongs To Orthodox, Reform, And Conservative Synagogues Impressive: Despite Mental Health Disorder, Man Manages To Go Entire Day Without Praising Hitler Local Whore Goes On 5 Shidduch Dates Before Marriage Report: Assimilation Numbers Skyrocket After Third Temple Location Revealed To Be Cleveland Incredible: Son Ends Call With Jewish Mother, Only Says “Alright, Okay” Twice Awkward: Kanye Burns Through Antisemitic Small Talk 5 Minutes Into Lunch With Trump Tzadik: Uncle David Drinks All Four Cups On Thanksgiving Elon Musk Frantically Leaves 8th Voicemail For Jews Who Control Media Lil Nas X Releases New Single, “I Have No Strong Feelings About Jews One Way Or The Other” Shidduch Date First Timers Accidentally Get Hotel Room Instead Of Sitting In Lobby Abraham And Isaac Share Father-Son Binding – Oops! – Bonding Time Marvel Unveils New Jewish Superhero, “Guy Who Gives A Lot Of Tzedakah” Report: Antisemite Faces Consequences For Anti-Semitism Actually, We Have Our Own Version Of Halloween,” Says Jew At Halloween Party Shocking: Rabbi Fails To Find Rule Prohibiting Dogs From Reading Torah Trendy: Depop Seller Lists “Y2K Micro-Hat” Tragic: Sabbath Interrupts Swiftie’s 18-Hour “Midnights” Listening Streak Progressive: Synagogue Considers Allowing Women To Glance At Torah During Hakafot Big Bad Wolf Delighted To Find Three Little Pigs Sleeping In One Sukkah Slut Era: Absolutely Filthy Schach Shows Off All The Stars College Hillel Struggling To Rebuild In Aftermath Of “Pizza In The Hut” Pepperoni Incident Took Long Enough: Kanye Finally Brought The Jews Into It Stop Everything: Little Dog Has Little Dog Sukkah Report: Etrog Just Gnarly Undercover Lemon Cantor Experimenting With Funky New Tune Absolutely Bombing Man Swinging Chicken Over Head Participating In Completely Normal Religious Practice Man At Yom Kippur Services Downing Listerine Strips Like There’s No Tomorrow Report: MDMA Only Slightly Better Than Yom Kippur Cantor Saying “Let’s Skip Ahead A Few Pages” Breaking: Antisemitism Completely Eradicated Thanks To Miami Boys Choir Tiktok Trend Jewish Student Symbolically Emails Jewish Professor About Upcoming Jewish Holiday Heartwarming: Man Actually Believes He Will Better Himself This Year Doubtful: Fifth Consecutive Man Thinks He’ll Be One To Correctly Blow Shofar Inspiring: Friend Suddenly Religious Again When Parents Visit Campus Bat Mitzvah Girl Leading Services Apparently Also Auditioning For American Idol Jewish American Grandmother Heartbroken Over Death Of Anglo-Saxon Protestant Woman Leonardo DiCaprio Abandons Jewish Conversion Plans After Discovering Shabbat 25 Hours Long “You’ve Come To The Right Place”: Supreme Court Justices Psyched To Take On YU Discrimination Case Inspiring: Man Washes Balls Over Meat Sink In Last-Ditch Effort To Quell LGBTQ+ Campus Life, YU Cancels “Handjob Wednesdays” Brave: Reform Rabbi Resisting Temptation To Play Bongos OnlySimchas Announces NSFW Sister Site Featuring Non-Shomer Engagement Photos Guy On First NCSY Shabbaton Hopes Girls Impressed By How Good He Is At Helping Stack Chairs Camp Gazebo Officially Named “Second Best Handjob Spot” Enemies To Lovers: New York Jew And L.A. Jew Have Camp Fling Jewish High School Renames Advanced Math Course “Ap Calc BCE” Time Warp: Scientists Discover Temporal Anomaly Where Last 10 Minutes Of Fast Actually 3 Years Long Jews Nationwide Pause Mourning Current Tragedy, Mourn 2000-Year-Old Tragedy Camper Absolutely Psyched For Jewish Holiday Of Sitting Indoors And Watching “The Blind Side” Sicko: Jewish A Capella Stan Enjoying Three Weeks Way Too Much Jewish Comedian Scrambling To Rewrite Entire Set For Show In Salt Lake City Read The Room: Woman Has Nerve To Criticize Israel Just 4 Months And 3 Days After Yom HaShoah Groundbreaking: Yeshiva Boy In Search Of Fresh New Look Buys Round Glasses Report: Fiddler Still On Roof Man Really Hamming It Up During Hagbah To Beat Micropenis Allegations Family Dog’s DNA Test Comes Back 100% Ashkenazi Jewish Finally, Some Representation: “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Hires Half-Jewish Extra Ramah Boy’s Bunk Reaches Consensus: Nyack 6 Is Moshava IO 9 No, I Won’t Stay For Shabbos: ‘Minyan Man’ Just Wants To Be Known As Jeff Oh No: “American Jews” Trending Again Breakaway Minyan Quickly Becoming Very Thing It Sought To Destroy “You’re The First Jew I’ve Ever Met,” Says Man Who Makes Jews Scared To Reveal They Jewish Local Man Keeps Kosher But Eats Out Vegetarians Walk Of Shame: Girl Returns From Shabbos Walk After Havdala Rabbinate Considering New Ways To Wrap Tefillin After Widespread Firework Mishaps Off-The-Derech Yeshiva Boy Has Religious Revelation While Juuling At Kotel Study Discovers Horniest Place On Earth: Your Campus Hillel’s Shabbat Service El Al Offers Special Deal On Flights To Cyprus In Honor Of Pride Month Overenthusiastic Birthright Attendee Accidentally Makes Aliyah Brave: Bradley Cooper’s Prosthetic Jew Nose For “Maestro” Makes Antisemitism Sexy Again Report: Ancient Manuscript Reveals It Was Adam and Steve All Along Heartwarming: Student Returns From Gap Year Inspired, Excited To Forget It All By End Of Summer Birthright Participant Feels Deep Connection To Holy Land After Publicly Urinating Across Country Self-Starter: College Student Pays Just $400 To Intern In Israel Whatever Helps You Sleep At Night: JTS Alumna Claims She Attended Columbia OU Releases New Line Of Merchandise For Kosher Hot Girl Summer Man Pretends He Just Washed To Avoid Awkward Conversation Tragic: Borderline Incestuous Camp Friend Group Contracts Mono About Time: Orthodox Union Officially Labels Timothée Chalamet Fans Idolaters CDC Report Shows Rising Omer Numbers, Institutes Lactaid Mandate For Upcoming Shavuot Not Again: Teaneck Mom Swears This The Year She Makes Aliyah Israel To Legalize Late-Term Abortions In Bid To Win Over American Left Student Learning About Camp David Accords Pretty Sure She Has Friend That Went There Husband Material: Sweaty Guy At Frat Party Claims To Be ‘Basically Jewish’ Local Heretic Eats Pastrami On White Bread Seder Ruined By Know-It-All Teen In Atheist Phase Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert Stoner Regrets Getting High On Passover, Only Has Hillel Sandwich To Satisfy Munchies Child Searching For Afikomen Stumbles Upon Adoption Certificate Breaking: Grandma Really Shouldn’t Have Drank All Four Cups Of Wine Brave: Beverly Hills Jew In 5-Star Hotel Finds Way To Feel That She Herself Freed From Egypt Local Man Breaks Out Crusty, Decade-Old Passover Toothbrush Bar Mitzvah Held On Top Of Masada Ruined By Being Held On Top Of Masada Smash-Hit Card Game ‘Jewish Apples To Apples’ Prompts Spinoff ‘Jewish Pictionary’ Heartwarming: “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” Plays During Bat Mitzvah Montage Devastating: BBYO Shabbaton Rookie Accidentally Says Two Lies And A Truth Man Exiled From Lakewood After Wife Says Hamotzi At Shabbat Table Climate Change Solved: Elders Of Zion Finally Fix Weather-Control Machine Scandalous: Local Mezuzah Clearly Dirty Little Slut For Kisses Tragic: Leftover Poppyseed Hamantaschen Served As Dessert For Third Consecutive Week L’Chaim: Manischewitz To Release Hard Seltzer Brand Targeted At College Hillels Reform Congregation Ditches Traditional Prayer, Switches To Rap Battles Student Suspended After Shouting ‘Sour Cream’ During Birkat Hamazon For Third Time This Week Inappropriate: Students Chant “Color War Breakout” At Assembly About Ukraine Serial Mohel Leaves Trail Of Foreskin In His Wake Purim And St. Patrick’s Day Fall On Same Day In Win For Alcoholism Wholesome: Man’s House Vandalized After Giving Out Veggie Straws For Mishloach Manot Girlboss: Sources Reveal Esther Was First Woman To Try Intermittent Fasting Pathetic: Local Fourth Grader Can’t Fold Hamantaschen Correctly Shocking: BDS Still A Thing Even Though Gal Gadot Is Hot Lone Soldier Shocked Israeli Army Significantly Harder Than Camp IDF Day Innovative: New Breakaway Minyan Skips Praying, Goes Straight To Whiskey At 10AM Shabbos Goy Promoted To Full-Time Goy Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv Report: Couple Really Grinding It Out At Zusha Concert Good News: War In Europe Not About Hating Jews Yet Very Cool: Vatican Pays Homage To Christ’s Jewish Ancestry, Makes Manischewitz Official Communion Wine Where’s Waldo? More Like “Who’s Waldo?”: Beloved Cartoon Character Confirmed To Be Fleeing Gestapo Agent Man Stoned To Death For Plowing Your Mom On Shabbat Only Jewish Employee At Kosher Pizzeria Makes Big Bucks Just To Turn On Ovens Man Leaves YU Seforim Sale With No Marriage Prospects, Only Books NCSY Shabbaton Participant Sitting On Hotel Floor With New Friends Doesn’t Realize Life Downhill From Here Cheap Boyfriend Claims God Wouldn’t Want Him To Celebrate Valentine’s Day Jewish Bengals Fans Raise Concerns About Pigskin Kashrut After Absolutely Eating It Report: Trader Joe’s Employee Doesn’t Know What ‘Choomus’ Is Impressive: Birthright Attendee Beats Odds, Drowns In Dead Sea Jew Offered Knuckle Sandwich, Asks To Wash First As Conservative Movement Dies, USY Hookup Point System Faces Inflation Jewish Students Everywhere Thank Whoopi Goldberg For New Reason To Post Infographics Former Washington Football Team Chooses “Jews” As New Culturally Insensitive Mascot Report: Guy Putting Head Down For Tachanun Clearly Just Playing Wordle Man Wrestling Uncontrollable Urge To Fix Bike Chain On Shabbat Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers Zionist Icon: Man Has Israeli Flag Jibbit In Crocs Man on Deathbed Scrambling to Finish Bar Mitzvah Thank You Notes So Progressive: Rabbi Announces He Supports People’s Choice To Be Gay Nation Shocked To See Rampant Jew-Hatred After Making No Effort To Stop Rampant Jew-Hatred Kippah Hanging Onto Side Of Head For Dear Life “I Mean, I Still Don’t Eat Pork,” Says Teen, Clearly Off The Derech New Birthright Extension Program Just Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Trees Thinking Of Just Staying In For Birthday This Year Report: Bar Mitzvah Boy Lists Deceased Relatives For Entirety Of Speech Concerning: New App “Kinder” Lets Jewish Moms Create Dating Profiles For Their Kids White South African Jew Insists He Is Technically African-American at College Interview Uh-Oh: Rabbi On Synagogue Zoom Call Still Cannot Work Out Volume Settings Marine Biologists Discover New Species Of Gefilte Fish Suspicious: Man Becomes Religious Just In Time to Cover Growing Bald Spot With Kippah Amar’e Stoudemire Converts To Islam After YU Basketball Streak Ends Man Already Regrets New Year’s Resolution Not To Covet Neighbor’s Wife Severed Fish Head Not Received Well At New Years Party Breaking: Stern College Women’s Basketball Breaks NCAA Record, Loses 50 Consecutive Games Uh Oh: Yedid Nefesh Off to Slow Start, Forecast Bleak for Rest of Kabbalat Shabbat Report: Jewish Publication Still Deems Drake Newsworthy Local Man Wishes He Was Cohen Jews Win War On Christmas University BDS Chapter Disbanded After Realizing Fauda Has English Subtitles Israelis Shocked To See Australians Have Discovered Blundstones New NCSY Program Offers Kids Pizza To Ignore Assistant Rabbi Tragic: Rising Inflation Rates Force Synagogue To Replace Ner Tamid With Ner Sometimes Tri-State Area Jews Secede From Out-Of-Towners Brutal: Middle School Boy Rejects Other Boy’s High Five, Says ‘I’m Shomer’ Report: Guy From High School Wears Black Hat Now Cream Cheese Shortage: Dry Bagels Declared New Bread of Affliction Orthodox Union Determines Official English Spelling For Festival Of Lights Local Kosher Bakery Unveils Sufganiyot With Blood Of Christ Filling Man Decides to Go All Out for Holidays, Wears Menorah Socks Bubbe Cold Just Watching People On TV At Thanksgiving Parade Heartwarming: NCSY Rabbi Doesn’t Celebrate Thanksgiving Because He’s Thankful Every Day Breaking: Columbus Revealed To Be Secretly Jewish, Born Chaim Cholumbutz Mom Absolutely Losing It Over Parve Dessert That Tastes Dairy Cool: 7th Grade Just Google Translated “Bitch” Into Hebrew Man Falls Off Building Onto Woman, Gets Her Pregnant Synagogue Makes Brave Decision Not to Allow Female President of Board Report: Israeli Exchange Student Barefoot Again Embarrassing: Man Taking Talit Into Bathroom Claims Hooks Were Full Ashkenaz Family Scouring To Find Birchon For Sephardic Guest Synagogue Rolling In Cash After Auctioning NFT Of Rare Carlebach Audio Local Convert Disappointed He Can No Longer Cook Calf In Mother’s Milk American Yeshiva Student With New Blundstones, Rav-Kav, Basically Israeli Now Students Baffled By Non-Jewish Teacher Saying “Shabbat Shalom” BREAKING: Israeli Chief Rabbinate Declares Cats Kosher To Fix Stray Cat Problem Local Bigshot Uses Word “Diaspora” 2nd Grader Devastated To Discover Veggietales Actually Christian Rabbi Clearly Having Hard Time Forcing Sports Analogy Into D’var Torah Area Kid Singing Adon Olam On Bimah Hoping This Will Be His Big Break Local campus Hillel Proves Pluralism Is Totally Possible As Long As No One Interacts With Each Other Hebrew School Teacher Turns On Projector, Shows Raiders Of The Lost Ark Again Dior Makes A Splash With New Cologne Scent “Packed Chareidi Bus” Report: Cheshvan Still Sucks Syrian Community Petitions UN To Recognize Deal, New Jersey As Heritage Site Scandalous: Elite Chocolate Cow’s Homophobic Tweets Discovered OU Heksher Council Denies Impossible Pork Certification On Grounds That It May Lead To Mixed Dancing Uh Oh: The Fax Machine At The Ohel Is Jammed Again Man On Brink Of Divorce Definitely Sleeping In Sukkah For Religious Reasons Man Who Has Never Made Etrog Jam In His Life Swears This The Year He Finally Makes Etrog Jam MorningStar Farms® Chik’n Nuggets Sales Spike Thanks To Vegan Kapparot Fashion Emergency: Entire Community Spotted Wearing White After Labor Day Man With Long Spiralling Shofar Clearly Compensating For Weak Tekiah Gedolah So Cool: Synagogue Hands Out Kooky 5782 Glasses To Jazz Up Holiday Prayers Star Student Kicks Off Semester By Missing First Month Of Classes Report: Pomegranate Only Has 612 Seeds This Year Business Owner In Rural Town Hoping Summer Profits Will Last Until Local Jewish Camp Reopens Next Year Man In Political Debate Just Itching To Bring Up Holocaust Crisis Averted: Airport Jews Find 10th To Help Make A Scene Pretty Badass: Camper Wearing Tzitzit Over T-Shirt Man Still Can’t Smell Bisamim Post-Delta Variant, Trapped In Never-Ending Shabbat Recently Uncovered Challah Embarrassed To Find Out Bracha Made On Wine First OnlySimchas CEO Bans Wedding Photos From Platform Report: There’s A Dinosaur Knocking At My Door Noted Goy John Mulaney Really Regrets Agreeing To Circumcision For Jewish Ex-Wife Report: Tzedakah Box At Kosher Restaurant Has Not Been Emptied For Full Decade Bald Man Stares Longingly At Klipped Kippah, Yearns For Days Gone By 19-Year-Old Syrian Bride Carded At Own Wedding Yad Vashem’s First Annual Fun Run Canceled, For Obvious Reasons Brawl Erupts in Mad Dash for Mini Hot Dogs at Bar Mitzvah Kiddush Anti-Israel Liberal Begrudgingly Admits Kibbutz Only Example Of Communism Actually Working Eight Day Old Absolutely Shitfaced At 11 AM Local Kid Won’t Stop Talking About NFTY, For Some Reason Anti-Semitic Fish Voices Fear Of One Day Becoming Gefilte Changing The Game: Visionary High Schooler Starts Tznius Fashion Instagram Local Girl Broken-Hearted, Inconsolable After Not Receiving Any Tu B’Av Cards Inspiring: Ben & Jerry’s Releases New Partition Plan Flavor Brave Student Changes Phone To Military Time In Solidarity With Boyfriend In IDF So That’s What That Is: Charedi Man Discovers He’s Had A Foreskin This Whole Time Frustrated Gabai’s Hand Signals Doing Most Of Work For Underprepared Bar Mitzvah Boy Kindergarden Class Shaken By Sudden Divorce Of Shabbos Ema and Abba High Schooler Really Leaning On Watermelon Juul To Get Through Fast Tisha B’av Easily Worst Day of Fourth Grader’s Summer Camp Experience Only Eating Into Own Free Time: USY Participants Unaware Their Friends Worked Really Hard To Plan Program For Them Woman Just Added To Group Chat Meticulously Clicking Through Every Member’s WhatsApp Profile Photo Synagogue Unveils Revolutionary New Logo, Features Fire, Book Local Wal-Mart Opens Kosher Aisle, Features Matzah In July, Food That Isn’t Kosher Man has Not Put on Tefillin Today, Despite What He just Told that Chabad Man on the Street Absolute Maniac Posts WhatsApp Status JCC Man Starting to Think 6’10” Muscle-Bound Black Dude Playing Basketball Not Actually Jewish BREAKING: NCSY Reveals Shomer Negiah Fabricated To Prevent Shabbaton Hookups Finally: New BBYO Program Teaches Teens How to be Followers Jew Spots Other Jew on Campus, Wants Him to Know He’s Also Jewish Close Call: Campus Jewish Organization Added To University Diversity Meeting At Last Second Local Non-Jew Wondering Why Her Roommate Keeps Complaining About the Temperature While Making Direct Eye Contact Every Saturday BREAKING: Carbon Dioxide Loses Hechsher, SodaStream Stocks Plummet Jewish Day School Career Day Invites Non-Lawyers and Non-Doctors for First Time Awe-Inspiring: Jewish A Capella Group Sings “One Day” Overworked Oven Can’t Wait To Be Put On Shabbat Mode Middle-Aged Jewish Man Refuses to Take Vaccine, Doesn’t Mind Eating Herring from Kiddush 3 Weeks Ago Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In Jewish Apples to Apples not as Fun as Local Third Grader Expected Local Grandma Can’t Understand Why Jon Stewart is Black Now Lactose Intolerant Ashkenaz Masochist Serves Third Cheesecake Of Shavuot Campus Chabad Giving Out Branded Crap like There’s No Tomorrow Tragic: This Man Forgot to Count Omer Last Night Antisemitic Professor Fails Student Who was Absent Whole Semester, Never Turned in Assignments, Just Because He’s Jewish College Senior Announces Plans to Become 40 Year Old Man Playing Basketball at the JCC After Graduation Heartwarming: Nine Year Old Girl Inspires Community, Donates to Locks For Love FOOD FALLING FROM THE FUCKING SKY Instagram Activist Calls Out Non-Jewish Friends Who Posted for Earth Day and Not Tu Bishvat Following Widespread Lashon Hara, Lepers Protest Cancel Culture Confused Dominatrix Accidentally Attends Rally for BDS Movement Uh Oh: The Goy Just Touched the Wine Bottle at the Dinner Table Shul Bathroom has had Same Basket of Tampons on the Counter as Long as Local Student Can Remember Study Finds Debbie Friedman’s “Mi Shebeirach” More Effective Than Moderna, Pfizer, And Johnson & Johnson Vaccines After 40 Years of Wandering, Sinai Jews Disappointed to Discover Israel is Just More Desert Miracle Baby Born Without IBS Entire Building Disturbed by Sounds of Local Student on Phone with Grandmother Local Father Waterboarded but Still Won’t Reveal Afikoman Hiding Spot Sephardic COVID Patient Relieved to Lose Sense of Taste Right Before Visiting Ashkenaz In-Laws for Passover Elderly Persian Man at Least Four Words Behind Throughout Entirety of Mourner’s Kaddish Lonely College Girl Browses @OnlySimchas Instagram at 3AM Overly-passionate Congregation’s Boos Starting to Hurt Megillah Reader’s Feelings Intervention Held for Friend Who Prefers Poppy Seed Hamantaschen Chabad Rabbi Takes Purim Seudah to Next Level, Shoots Heroin Until Unable to Tell Difference Between Haman and Mordechai Baby in Back of Synagogue Must Like REALLY Hate Haman Local Non-Jew Opens Sunkist Fruit Gem Before the Bat Mitzvah Kid is Done With Maftir, Disrupts Entire Service Student Rejected from 14 Internships, Insists Working at Summer Camp Looks More Impressive on Resume Anyways Area Kid Went on Gap Year; We Get It Zoom Hillel Doesn’t Hit Like it Used To SHOCKING: Community Outraged by Rampant Ashkenormativity at Kugelfest Hillel Member Posts Infographic to Instagram Story, Solves Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Embarrassing: Ashkenaz Couple’s Surprise Familial Relation Reflects Poorly on Jewish Geography Skills Bear Attack Ruins High School Shabbaton; Lots of Students in Woods for Some Reason SHOCKING: Bar Mitzvah Speech Makes Sense? Oh No: Camp Rabbi Pulling Out Guitar for Some Reason Bar Mitzvah Theme Makes Area Kid Seem Way More into Basketball than He Really Is Adventurous HaKotel Alum Decides to Leave the Jewish bubble, Attends Maryland Admissions Scandal: 8 Separate Ramah Campers Claim They Led Final Camp Havdalah in Admission Essays Yet Another Yeshiva Boys Choir Member Goes Missing After Reaching Puberty Recent Divorcee Beating Willow Branch on Floor Definitely Going Through Something New Record for Loudest Sound Ever Heard: Grandma Whispered in Synagogue Jewish Cemetery Vandalized With Graffiti Portraits of Shimon Peres, Community Confused Get new content delivered directly to your inbox. Subscribe Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:Like Loading...
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