BETHESDA, MD — Students attending Congregation Etz HaTorah Hebrew school this Sunday were disappointed when Morah Jodi turned on the projector to reveal the Amazon Prime home screen, preparing to show Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark yet again.
“How many years in a row can we watch Indiana Jones?” complained seventh grader Benny Kagan. “I’d literally rather practice my Bar Mitzvah parsha. And I hate practicing my Bar Mitzvah parsha.”
His classmate Josie Finegold explained, “Obviously, we all get really excited when we come in and see we’re going to watch a movie. Even though we know it’s going to be some kind of Jewish movie, it’s still more exciting than class! But Raiders of the Lost Ark? Again? I think I might start rooting for the Nazis soon.”
“I guess it’s kind of Jewish? I mean, it is about the Lost Ark,” explained seventh grader Abby Rabinowitz. “But I’d really rather watch Fiddler on the Roof, if it has to be a Jewish movie. And if it can be any Nazi movie, I’d prefer The Zookeeper’s Wife, which I found to be charming.”
“I just hate snakes,” said classmate Yoni Braun.
When asked for comment, Morah Jodi Himmelstein responded, “”Listen, I’m on a smoke break right now. If those little schmucks have a problem with the movie, we can go right back to singing a song about the Hebrew months if they want. Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Next week, Himmelstein plans to show the class another Jewish classic, Adam Sandler’s Hotel Transylvania 2.
Michael Coghlan, with modifications, via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0
Indiana Jones image via Lucasfilm