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Jewish Student Symbolically Emails Jewish Professor About Upcoming Jewish Holiday

Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers

QUEENS, NY — Following staffing shortages at Ramaz Upper School, the principal, Mr. Joshua Adelman, was seen Monday in John F. Kennedy International Airport Terminal 4 searching for potential Hebrew teachers arriving from an El-Al flight. “We’re looking for anyone that can speak the language, basically,” Adelman told reporters while hiding behind a large fernContinue reading “Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers”

Hebrew School Teacher Turns On Projector, Shows Raiders Of The Lost Ark Again

BETHESDA, MD — Students attending Congregation Etz HaTorah Hebrew school this Sunday were disappointed when Morah Jodi turned on the projector to reveal the Amazon Prime home screen, preparing to show Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark yet again. “How many years in a row can we watch Indiana Jones?” complained seventh grader BennyContinue reading “Hebrew School Teacher Turns On Projector, Shows Raiders Of The Lost Ark Again”

Star Student Kicks Off Semester By Missing First Month Of Classes

NEW HAVEN, CT — Yale History major Anna Kuniansky announced recently in a series of emails to professors that she plans to kick off her junior year by missing nearly every class for the first month. The email, which she copied and pasted into slightly different formats to send to each course instructor, explained, “dueContinue reading “Star Student Kicks Off Semester By Missing First Month Of Classes”

Jewish Day School Career Day Invites Non-Lawyers and Non-Doctors for First Time

NEW YORK, NY — Pluralistic Jewish elementary school Kehilat Neshama is giving a new twist to career day this year, with their controversial decision to invite people from professions outside of law and medicine. The innovative volte-face, announced by the administration in a school-wide email on Monday, has been welcomed by some parents with childrenContinue reading “Jewish Day School Career Day Invites Non-Lawyers and Non-Doctors for First Time”

Antisemitic Professor Fails Student Who was Absent Whole Semester, Never Turned in Assignments, Just Because He’s Jewish

SYRACUSE, NY — The Jewish community of Syracuse University has publicly called for the condemnation of Professor Robert Aldrin’s antisemitic actions last week. Professor Aldrin gave a failing grade to Micah Wittenberg, a junior in the psychology department, who has been notably outspoken on campus about his Jewish identity and support for Israel. Speaking toContinue reading “Antisemitic Professor Fails Student Who was Absent Whole Semester, Never Turned in Assignments, Just Because He’s Jewish”