Ten Ways to Let That Saucy Boy Across the Bar Know That You’d Let Him Wreck You 24 Hours a Day Except for on Shabbos

Ways to subtly (or not so subtly) let that cute ass boy across the bar that you are down to get straight up weird with him any day of the week, save for Friday night and Saturday until sundown.

1. Strut Your (Hebrew) Stuff

The most obvious way to let a cute guy know that you are, in fact, Jewish is to wear a graphic t- shirt with Hebrew on it. Nothing gets square-jawed hunks fired up like the classic Hebrew Coca-Cola shirt, or shake it up and go with a popular band logo with the name spelled out in Hebrew. Extra points if you got the shirt in Israel or your Bubbe sent it to you just because she thought you would like it! If you’re going for more of a cocktail look, the necklace with your name in Hebrew you got for graduation will work, too!

2. Is this Kosher?

This is an easy one, just loudly ask the staff if the food you just ordered is kosher. This will likely confuse them, so you have plenty of time for that Semitic Sweetie over there to notice you explaining the Torah to an unsuspecting goy who is just trying to do their job. 

3. Get the (Israeli) Party Started!

Make sure he is in earshot when you request an Israeli pop song to be played in the bar. You can’t go wrong with a Hatikvah 6 or Omer Adam song! 

4. Show some cleavage

Come on, you’re Jewish, not Mormon. Let them thangs hang out a little! No boobs? No problem! Any skin showing at the chest or below the elbows will let him know you’re a straight-up freak.

5. Ever Heard of Goldstar?

Order a Goldstar in front of him. The bar definitely won’t have it, giving you the opportunity to sigh and reluctantly order another drink. This will show him that you went to Israel and got a little crazy! 

6. Weed ‘em Out

Offer him some pot. You can show him you’re generous (guys love a girl who gives Tzedakah) and get high in one easy move! 

7. Pray it Up!

Make sure to say your blessing before your first drink! Anything other than wine is going to be Shehakol. This will show him you’re ready to party but still a respectful Jew. 

8. Happy Ending

In addition to saying your prayers before, remember to do your post-bender blessings as well! Invite him over for birkhat, mayim achronim, and a nightcap! 

9. Shots! Shots! Shots!

Make sure to get into a shots contest with him and win! You establish your dominance and scare him a little which definitely turns him on. Finish your final shot with a big ol’ “Oy Vey!”

10. The Freakin’ Weekend

“I haven’t seen you here before,” he says, to which you innocuously reply “oh you must usually be here Fridays!” This lets him know you are an avid partier but not on Friday nights. Fridays are for kabbalat shabbat and a pre-cooked chicken dinner with the friends. But the other 6 nights a week you are free and down to go absolutely apeshit.

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