Ever wanted to get frisky with some post-marital lovin’, but feel uncomfortable getting it on in the missionary position considering our religion forbids actively attempting to convert gentiles? Well you’re in luck! Here are four hot and heavy positions to try next time you push the beds together, just in time for Tu B’Av – apparently !
1. The Dog One
Calm down, this doesn’t involve any actual canines, you perv! Named after the fact that dogs have sex sometimes, this one is where you and your partner have sex, much in the same way that dogs have been known to do.
This is where your partner pretends that they are a naughty little cow and you tie them up with a lasso, I think. Pistol is optional but cowboy hat is mandatory – sorry, I don’t make the rules!
3. In the Shower
What’s great about this position is that one of you will always be cold! Talk about steamy!
4. An Orgy
If none of those jimble your nimbles, why not try an all-out, balls-to-the-wall, raucous experience of extreme sexual indulgence with multiple people… as long as no one tries missionary, go absolutely hog-wild.