Kindergarten Class Shaken By Sudden Divorce Of Shabbos Ema and Abba

CHERRY HILL, NJ — Shock swept through the Tadpoles class at Beis Chana Mushke Preschool this Tuesday morning when 5-year-olds Ari Schauer and Esther Blumenthal, last week’s Shabbos Ema and Abba, announced that they had begun legal proceedings to divorce.

Witnesses recall noticing the apparent bliss in their relationship last Friday during the end-of-school Oneg. Esther stood next to Morah Rivki Holstein as she lit the Shabbat candles while Ari said “Boreh Pri HaGafen” on the grape juice – once Oneg ended and the Tadpoles gathered their backpacks, however, Ari was seen getting into a gold Honda Odyssey with his neighbor Eliana Mulman, rather than Esther’s mother’s white Honda CR-V.

“I was so confused,” said 5-year-old Goldie Lerner. “Esther and Avi were soooo in love! And they looked so pretty in the Ema and Abba crowns while Morah Rivki said the blessings. They didn’t even have a playdate after?”

The situation worsened during snack time on Monday, when Esther was spotted sharing her extra cheese stick with her Donni Trotner instead of Ari. “It’s like they forgot that they were our Ema and Abba just last week,” remarked fellow Tadpole Hannah Baruchov, who seemed to have forgotten that she was Shabbos Ema the week before that.

Tuesday morning, following the announcement, the Tadpoles quickly formed sides, which consisted completely of boys on Ari’s team and girls on Esther’s, as well as a row of chairs down the center of the classroom.

At press time, Morah Rivki was seen restructuring her lesson plans. “I was supposed to introduce them to the mechitza next week,” she said, “but I guess I’ll just do it now.”

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