4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion

Ever wanted to get frisky with some post-marital lovin’, but feel uncomfortable getting it on in the missionary position considering our religion forbids actively attempting to convert gentiles? Well you’re in luck! Here are four hot and heavy positions to try next time you push the beds together, just in time for Tu B’Av –Continue reading “4 Sex Positions To Try Instead of Missionary Because We Aren’t A Proselytizing Religion”

Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are

Have you ever looked at a celebrity and thought “man, they have to be Jewish” – only to be disappointed when you check their Wikipedia page? Us too! Which is why we’ve compiled our top ten favorite fake-out goys! These are The Schmear’s official rankings of non-Jewish celebrities based on how Jewish they are. 10.Continue reading “Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are”

5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish

1. Wallace Shawn My family had a full-fledged argument at dinner about whether “the short guy from The Princess Bride” was still alive. Turns out he is not yet dead, and he is as Jewish as his name is goyish. 2. Bob Dylan Although reported dead by MSNBC in Nov 2020, this Nobel Laureate singer-songwriterContinue reading “5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish”

How to Fight Harmful Stereotypes with Poor Financial Decisions

You may be stuck with a larger-than-average nose and those awfully uncomfortable horns, but you don’t always have to be seen by goyim as the token Jew. Here are a few helpful tips on how you can get non-jews to think you’re just as frivolous as they are. 1. Buy into your cousin’s startup TelContinue reading “How to Fight Harmful Stereotypes with Poor Financial Decisions”

The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group

Yes, there are plenty of us who do not live in Jew-heavy areas – and quite often we end up the only Jew in our little group of friends. While we are often misunderstood, misrepresented, or flaunted for diversity, it’s not all bad! Here are some of the best parts of being the only JewContinue reading “The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group”

Top 9 Jewish Drinking Holidays

1. Tu Bishvat Oh yeah! Jewish Arbor Day, get ready to party! Everyone knows Tu Bishvat as the top drinking holiday on the Jewish calendar. Wine is technically a fruit if you think about it, so bottoms up! 2. All the Fast Days  We’re counting the fast days throughout the year as just one holiday,Continue reading “Top 9 Jewish Drinking Holidays”

How to Get Your Club Penguin Igloo Ready for Passover

Take that table full of treats and change it back to a plain table. You can use this to seat your seder guests if you host the first or second night at your igloo! If you don’t eat kitniyot, make sure your garden is changed from corn to another crop. Grow some tomatoes to makeContinue reading “How to Get Your Club Penguin Igloo Ready for Passover”