Purim is a time to get dressed up in your favorite costume and drink as much as you can without landing your drunk ass in the hospital. Since it’s basically a second Halloween, you might as well show a lil titty. Here are some slutty costumes to wear this year if Vashti just isn’t cutting it anymore.
- Any of the Euphoria Kids
Trendy costume alert! This one is great because you can basically dress as revealingly as you want – just throw some glitter on your face and no one will even notice your side boob. This is also an easy group costume for you and all of your whore friends!
- The Old Green M&M
Honor this bimbo icon by wearing the shortest green shorts you can find and the highest-heeled white boots you have. Remember what they took from us.
- A Sexy Devil
Purim, like every Jewish holiday ever, is about good versus evil, so embrace your naughty side and dress as a slutty little Satan! Embrace your true sexy Jewish self and let those horns out.
- An Alien or Something?
You know the slutty, shiny clothes you buy and your mom asks when in the world you’re ever gonna wear them? This is that time! Your fishnet stockings and bright purple eyeliner will finally be put to use when you dress up like a… like a fish? Mermaid? Alien? Yeah, an alien. Your hair is in space buns so you’re obviously an alien.
- A Hot Chani
Where my frum married ladies at!? Let’s be real, for you gals this isn’t a costume, just a great way to get your hoe on while staying tznius. Get a long sexy sheitel and blow dry it to perfection, then pair that with a bodycon maxi skirt and kiki-riki – because as long as it’s covering your scandalous elbows, it doesn’t matter how tight the clothing is. And of course, put on as much makeup as possible. Remember ladies, being sexy isn’t a sin if it’s modest.
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