Pathetic: Local Fourth Grader Can’t Fold Hamantaschen Correctly


HOLLYWOOD, FL — Attempting to impress his older cousins late Sunday afternoon, fourth grader Dovi Berman insisted that he was a skilled hamantaschen folder. Despite his bragging, however, it was soon discovered that his skills left much to be desired.

“At first I assumed he was going overboard with the filling,” said Berman’s older cousin Rachel. “But then I realized that he just can’t fold for shit.”

Berman’s grandmother was especially disappointed in him. 

“Make a point at the top and fold over the bottom. How hard is that to get?” said his grandmother, who was teaching him to bake the traditional Purim cookies at the time. “I’m not sure how he managed to keep making these pitiful little poppy seed dumplings, but it’s honestly impressive. Like, in a sad way.”

At press time, Berman was witnessed skulking out of his grandmother’s house with a bag of what can only be described as abominations. 

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