1. The Pizza Place
Everyone loves a good, old-fashioned, traditional Midwest-style pizza! This Kosher restaurant sells a variation of that, which has been described by locals as “edible,” and even “not bad!” Wow! Get it while it’s hot! They also inexplicably sell sushi — pizza’s cousin from the far east.
2. The Meat Place
This restaurant has burgers, chicken, and again somehow sushi – two kinds! Definitely the place to be on a Saturday night. Although food critics have complained that the frozen hamburgers taste microwaved, I have an uncle that once ate at McDonald’s as a teenager and he says that it’s almost as good.
3. Mrs. Leibowitz’s Catering
Mrs. Leibowitz has the best and only Kosher catering in town! She caters for all the hottest Bar Mitzvahs. The hefty price-tag can be a drawback for some of our non-millionaire readers, but it’s worth it to feel like a fancy New York Jew that gets to eat outside of their house every once in a while. I recommend the vegetarian cholent!
Not everything at the local Starbucks is Kosher, but black coffee sure is! We definitely think this counts because even if you can’t order any food, sitting inside a restaurant with other people, especially non-Jews, is nothing short of exhilarating.
5. The Other Meat Place
This place used to be a real competitor but it’s been moved to fifth place since it burned down for the third time. According to rumors, the owners keep torching it for the insurance money, but there’s no way that the insurance company hasn’t caught on by now, right? Anyway, I’d say it’s a loss for Midwestern Jewish culture but the FDA never gave them above a C rating.