STAMFORD, CT — In an unfortunate lapse of memory, Stamford native Elie Sharansky forgot to count the Omer last night, missing what would have been the 47th and penultimate night before Shavuot.
Sharansky, who until last night had maintained a seven year perfect streak, was reminded of his error at a Shacharit minyan this morning. “I was standing there, wrapping up,” said Sharansky, “when all of a sudden I hear the chazan start saying last night’s count.” Sharansky reportedly bellowed a cry of rage and punched the wall as he recited the tally without a blessing.
“I haven’t shaved in seven weeks. Not even for Lag B’omer,” he said, tears streaking down his cheeks and into his stiff, patchy beard. “And for it to end like this? What kind of God would allow for something like this?”
Sharansky reportedly received a notification for his daily reminder while he was still in his 8PM night seder class. “I must have swiped it away, thinking I’d remember it later.”
Sources close to Sharansky say that he is considering converting to Buddhism, and that he plans to live the rest of his life under a vow of silence out of shame.