19-Year-Old Syrian Bride Carded At Own Wedding

BROOKLYN, NY — After trying to order a glass of Bartenura Moscato after her wedding reception, 19-year-old bride-to-be Sarah Dayan was asked by the bartender on site to see her ID.  “I may not be technically of age, but come on,” said Dayan. “If I’m mature enough to make a decision that will alter theContinue reading “19-Year-Old Syrian Bride Carded At Own Wedding”

Local Girl Broken-Hearted, Inconsolable After Not Receiving Any Tu B’Av Cards

PORTLAND, OR — As the sun set on Sunday, the window for local 10th grader Abby Gelman to receive a card this Tu B’Av came to a close, and with it her hopes and dreams of being loved. Gelman was eagerly looking forward to at least one card – but when the holiday ended, sheContinue reading “Local Girl Broken-Hearted, Inconsolable After Not Receiving Any Tu B’Av Cards”

Kindergarten Class Shaken By Sudden Divorce Of Shabbos Ema and Abba

CHERRY HILL, NJ — Shock swept through the Tadpoles class at Beis Chana Mushke Preschool this Tuesday morning when 5-year-olds Ari Schauer and Esther Blumenthal, last week’s Shabbos Ema and Abba, announced that they had begun legal proceedings to divorce. Witnesses recall noticing the apparent bliss in their relationship last Friday during the end-of-school Oneg.Continue reading “Kindergarten Class Shaken By Sudden Divorce Of Shabbos Ema and Abba”

So, Your Childhood Friend Just Got Married, and You Haven’t Even Finished Your Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes. What Now?

Listen, being in your early 20s is weird for everyone. Some people are young adults, and some people are older children. So even if your best friend from childhood is posting wedding pictures on Facebook, it doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed about how you’re still wearing clothes with your name on the inside labelContinue reading “So, Your Childhood Friend Just Got Married, and You Haven’t Even Finished Your Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes. What Now?”

Form Letter to Your Celebrity Crush About Why You are Worth Converting to Judaism for

Dear ___(Name of Celebrity Crush)__, My name is __(your name)__ and I have been in love with you for __(length of crush)__ since I saw you in __(movie, concert, TV show, interview, etc.)__.  I know we’ve never met, and I’m sure you have tons of people like me sending you fan mail. But this isContinue reading “Form Letter to Your Celebrity Crush About Why You are Worth Converting to Judaism for”