BERKELEY, CA — In a heated political debate about forms of government that took place in the University of California, Berkeley dining hall this Thursday, left-leaning philosophy major Henry Blake reluctantly supported his pro-communism argument by citing the success of Israeli socialist communes known as Kibbutzim.
“Listen, I’m definitely not the biggest fan of Israel, but yes, technically, Kibbutzim are the only successful example of communism in practice today,” said Blake, clearly scraping the barrel to win the debate. “But it’s only because the U.S. sends in CIA operatives to destabilize elections and overthrow any democracies that look like they might become socialist, like they did in El Salvador, Nicaragua, Venezuela…” Blake went on, before the reporter on the scene eventually zoned out.
Blake was entangled in a debate with classmates George Mackinaw and Kaylee Burgess about the benefits and drawbacks of capitalism, but witnesses say his mention of Kibbutzim caused the conversation to veer dangerously close to the topic of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict – but Burgess dropped a quick “it’s a complicated issue, let’s not get into it” before the conversation had a chance to devolve.
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