Tag Archives: zionism

Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus

SYRACUSE, NY — Justin Kreischman, a freshman at Syracuse University, recently revealed to reporters that, despite his outwardly normal college life, he spends his nights lying awake, wishing he could have the chance to yell at people about Israel. Attending the American Israel Public Affairs Committee Policy Conference every year of high school inspired KreischmanContinue reading “Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus”

Anti-Israel Liberal Begrudgingly Admits Kibbutz Only Example Of Communism Actually Working

BERKELEY, CA — In a heated political debate about forms of government that took place in the University of California, Berkeley dining hall this Thursday, left-leaning philosophy major Henry Blake reluctantly supported his pro-communism argument by citing the success of Israeli socialist communes known as Kibbutzim.  “Listen, I’m definitely not the biggest fan of Israel,Continue reading “Anti-Israel Liberal Begrudgingly Admits Kibbutz Only Example Of Communism Actually Working”

Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In

ST LOUIS, MO — At Washington University in St. Louis’ prospective student visiting day on Sunday, high school senior Jason Wolman spent far too much time asking about the presence of anti-Zionist organization BDS on campus, for someone with very little chance of being accepted to the college in the first place.  “This stuff isContinue reading “Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In”

Win for Zionism on Campus: This American Birthright Participant Just Hooked Up with an IDF Soldier

These days, college campuses can often be filled with anti-Israel propaganda, and students end up hiding their opinions just because of the pressure they feel to fit in with the crowd. But all that might change thanks to a stunning display of Zionist pride by UC Berkeley chem major Molly Segel and her Birthright guide,Continue reading “Win for Zionism on Campus: This American Birthright Participant Just Hooked Up with an IDF Soldier”

Confused Dominatrix Accidentally Attends Rally for BDS Movement

BERKELEY, CA — Clad in tight-fitting leather fetishwear, local dominatrix Susie Sanders told reporters that her attendance at a rally in support of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement that took place on the quad of UC Berkeley last Monday was unintentional.  “I came here to fuck,” said Sanders, who was looking to participate inContinue reading “Confused Dominatrix Accidentally Attends Rally for BDS Movement”

Opinion: Inventing the Cherry Tomato Doesn’t Excuse Israel’s Actions

I am a proud Zionist, and there are many things that make me proud of my home nation – so when I hear people on campus discussing Israel, I am quick to respond with the many ways that Israel has actually made the world a better place: Waze, USB drives, drip irrigation, and so muchContinue reading “Opinion: Inventing the Cherry Tomato Doesn’t Excuse Israel’s Actions”