Bubbe Cold Just Watching People On TV At Thanksgiving Parade

BOCA RATON, FL — Surrounded by her children and grandchildren for Thanksgiving, local bubbe Annette Ribner spent all of Thursday morning yelling at the television for the performers at the 95th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to put on coats, or at least some tights, because she was cold just looking at them.

“These young girls are meshugeneh!” Ribner yelled when the Rockettes danced by, “Did no one tell them the forecast? They’ll catch a flu!”

According to her 17-year-old granddaughter Olivia, Ribner’s fingers started to turn blue as the almost-nude girls paraded down 6th avenue. “I was genuinely worried she would catch sympathy frostbite,” stated Olivia. “At one point I thought she was shivering, but I later realized she had turned on the massage chair by accident. Thank god it’s a heated one.”

By the end of the parade, Ribner was clearly upset by the Macy’s Stars of Dance number, featuring a notable absence of puffy jackets. She cheered up slightly at the arrival of Santa and Mrs. Claus, remarking, “Now there are people who know how to dress for winter.”

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