Close Call: Campus Jewish Organization Added To University Diversity Meeting At Last Second

DAVIDSON, NC — Davidson College Hillel, the only non-Christian religious group on campus, breathed a sigh of relief last Tuesday when they received an email inviting them to participate in the university’s monthly diversity committee meetings.  “We knew they were having these meetings,” said Hillel president Jonathan Weitz on a celebratory walk around campus, “andContinue reading “Close Call: Campus Jewish Organization Added To University Diversity Meeting At Last Second”

Local Non-Jew Wondering Why Her Roommate Keeps Complaining About the Temperature While Making Direct Eye Contact Every Saturday

ANN ARBOR, MI — University of Michigan freshman Savannah Waterford is unsure about why her roommate Yael Berger keeps complaining about the temperature every Saturday until sundown while making awkward eye contact. “That’s not the only thing she does,” Waterford said. “It seems like every Friday night, she gets into bed with the lights on,Continue reading “Local Non-Jew Wondering Why Her Roommate Keeps Complaining About the Temperature While Making Direct Eye Contact Every Saturday”

I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song

Ok so my rabbi brings a “new” niggun from his hometown? Sure… anybody knows that Jews never make new songs. It was a good effort disguising “Bad Guy” with nonsense niggun syllables but still – I’m not buying it. It was a weird song choice but I’m most confused about how the rabbi found outContinue reading “I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song”

Jewish Apples to Apples not as Fun as Local Third Grader Expected

RICHMOND, VA — Third graders at Temple Beth Shalom all cheered as their Hebrew school teacher pulled out the boxed game Apples to Apples during their class Wednesday evening. “We were all like, ‘finally’!” said third grader Lila Durman on how the class reacted, “We never get to play games. We were so excited toContinue reading “Jewish Apples to Apples not as Fun as Local Third Grader Expected”

5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish

1. Wallace Shawn My family had a full-fledged argument at dinner about whether “the short guy from The Princess Bride” was still alive. Turns out he is not yet dead, and he is as Jewish as his name is goyish. 2. Bob Dylan Although reported dead by MSNBC in Nov 2020, this Nobel Laureate singer-songwriterContinue reading “5 Celebrities you Thought Were Dead but are Actually Alive and Jewish”

The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups

We all flip our latkes in the air sometimes, but if you can no longer do it without singing a Taio Cruz parody, then we can agree on something important — the world does not need any more Jewish a cappella groups. For thousands of years, our Jewish heritage has been kept alive by theContinue reading “The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups”

On Jewish Dog Names

Editor’s Note: this article originally ran as the lead-in to the March 11th, 2021 newsletter, but by popular demand it is now being posted as a standard article. To avoid missing any more instant classics like this, subscribe to our newsletter on the front page of our website. When you think of the strength andContinue reading “On Jewish Dog Names”

Jewish Cemetery Vandalized With Graffiti Portraits of Shimon Peres, Community Confused

NEW ORLEANS, LA — Police responded to a vandalism call at the Hebrew Rest Cemetery late last night, where they discovered that the gate to the Jewish cemetery was broken, the sign was torn down, and many gravestones were covered in spray paint.  Of the nine grave markers that were painted, seven were marked withContinue reading “Jewish Cemetery Vandalized With Graffiti Portraits of Shimon Peres, Community Confused”