It’s Not A Chilul Hashem If It’s Black Friday

We all know the feeling of seeing a great deal at a store and taking off your kippah so it doesn’t look bad when you go apeshit at a strip mall Best Buy. Boy, oh boy, do I have news for you: On Black Friday, all the rules go out the window. That’s right. OnContinue reading “It’s Not A Chilul Hashem If It’s Black Friday”

Bubbe Cold Just Watching People On TV At Thanksgiving Parade

BOCA RATON, FL — Surrounded by her children and grandchildren for Thanksgiving, local bubbe Annette Ribner spent all of Thursday morning yelling at the television for the performers at the 95th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to put on coats, or at least some tights, because she was cold just looking at them. “These young girlsContinue reading “Bubbe Cold Just Watching People On TV At Thanksgiving Parade”

Heartwarming: NCSY Rabbi Doesn’t Celebrate Thanksgiving Because He’s Thankful Every Day

BEACHWOOD, OH — In a tear-inducing speech to a room of NCSY high schoolers, Rabbi Eitan Weiss explained that he doesn’t need to celebrate Thanksgiving since he is thankful every single day. “Each morning I wake up and say Modeh Ani and I am overwhelmed by the blessings Hashem has given me,” Rabbi Weiss said toContinue reading “Heartwarming: NCSY Rabbi Doesn’t Celebrate Thanksgiving Because He’s Thankful Every Day”

Breaking: Columbus Revealed To Be Secretly Jewish, Born Chaim Cholumbutz

GENOA, ITALY — Explorer Christopher Columbus, known for ‘Columbus Day’ and being a genocidal tyrant that caused the deaths of millions of indigenous people, was recently discovered to have been secretly Jewish this whole time, originally born Chaim Cholumbutz. The truth was uncovered after two years of excavations on what is believed to be oneContinue reading “Breaking: Columbus Revealed To Be Secretly Jewish, Born Chaim Cholumbutz”