LAKE COMO, PA — Lying in bed at the Camp Perlman infirmary, camper Shoshana Stein was seen sobbing after being diagnosed with Mononucleosis, commonly referred to as ‘mono’, making her the fourth person in her tight-knit friend group to contract the disease.
Rachel Gross, arguably the glue of the friend group, was available to comment. “David caught mono from his ex-girlfriend. We hooked up, but he was a bad kisser, so I made out with Sam. I guess Sam got with Shoshana after me. But it’s fine, why would I care? I don’t care, okay? Shoshana hooked up with David last summer so I guess I deserve this.”
When asked for comment on how he felt about bringing mono to the group, David Gold stated, ”worth it.”
At press time, Camp Perlman officials were discussing a ban on all Shabbos walks.