camp

Camp Gazebo Officially Named “Second Best Handjob Spot”

Enemies To Lovers: New York Jew And L.A. Jew Have Camp Fling

Camper Absolutely Psyched For Jewish Holiday Of Sitting Indoors And Watching “The Blind Side”

Ramah Boy’s Bunk Reaches Consensus: Nyack 6 Is Moshava IO 9

Walk Of Shame: Girl Returns From Shabbos Walk After Havdala

Tragic: Borderline Incestuous Camp Friend Group Contracts Mono

LAKE COMO, PA — Lying in bed at the Camp Perlman infirmary, camper Shoshana Stein was seen sobbing after being diagnosed with Mononucleosis, commonly referred to as ‘mono’, making her the fourth person in her tight-knit friend group to contract the disease. Rachel Gross, arguably the glue of the friend group, was available to comment.Continue reading “Tragic: Borderline Incestuous Camp Friend Group Contracts Mono”

Student Learning About Camp David Accords Pretty Sure She Has Friend That Went There

Student Suspended After Shouting ‘Sour Cream’ During Birkat Hamazon For Third Time This Week

MELROSE PARK, PA — Ending Birkat Hamazon abruptly, Rabbi Jacob Shiner, the head of Torat Emet Middle School, was barely able to hold back tears after hearing “sour cream” shouted over the prayer for the third time this week. When the perpetrator was discovered to be known trouble-maker Eli Goldstein, the 5th grader was promptlyContinue reading “Student Suspended After Shouting ‘Sour Cream’ During Birkat Hamazon For Third Time This Week”

Lone Soldier Shocked Israeli Army Significantly Harder Than Camp IDF Day

ASHKELON, IL — Following his first week of basic training, new IDF recruit Jacob Moskowitz realized that it was going to be much harder than Camp Moshava’s army day simulation made it out to be. “The army is actually really hard, guys,” said Moskowitz to his completely unsympathetic camp friends, who chose to spend theirContinue reading “Lone Soldier Shocked Israeli Army Significantly Harder Than Camp IDF Day”

As Conservative Movement Dies, USY Hookup Point System Faces Inflation

SILVER SPRING, MD — Following a steep decline in Conservative Jews, the famed “point system” for hookups between members of Conservative youth group USY is now facing gripping inflation rates. “When my older sisters were in USY, they probably had 40, 50 points each,” explained Sami Broder, who comprises her entire chapter board and isContinue reading “As Conservative Movement Dies, USY Hookup Point System Faces Inflation”