Tragic: Borderline Incestuous Camp Friend Group Contracts Mono

LAKE COMO, PA — Lying in bed at the Camp Perlman infirmary, camper Shoshana Stein was seen sobbing after being diagnosed with Mononucleosis, commonly referred to as ‘mono’, making her the fourth person in her tight-knit friend group to contract the disease. Rachel Gross, arguably the glue of the friend group, was available to comment.Continue reading “Tragic: Borderline Incestuous Camp Friend Group Contracts Mono”

BREAKING: NCSY Reveals Shomer Negiah Fabricated To Prevent Shabbaton Hook Ups

BOCA RATON, FL  — Shockwaves rippled through the Jewish community this week when Josh Jacobs, the head of national youth group NCSY, admitted that the organization invented shomer negiah in the late 50’s as part of a joint effort with the Orthodox Union to stop high schoolers from engaging in physical acts on Shabbatons. ManyContinue reading “BREAKING: NCSY Reveals Shomer Negiah Fabricated To Prevent Shabbaton Hook Ups”