Skip to content

High Quality Shtick-Posting

  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Opinion
  • Lists
  • About Us
  • Shop
  • Search

Lonely College Girl Browses @OnlySimchas Instagram at 3AM

Posted byJonMarch 2, 2021April 9, 2021Posted inNewsTags:account, boyfriend, college, crying, engaged, engagement, instagram, jealous, jewish, jewish culture, jewish geography, lonely, love, married, only simchas, tag, wedding

NEW YORK, NY — 21-year-old Batsheva Navon scrolled through popular Instagram account @OnlySimchas for 7 consecutive hours last night in her Brandeis dorm room. 

The page, which has amassed over 75.8k followers at the time of publishing, shares photographs of simchas within the global Jewish community. The account features a range of celebratory events, from Beis Yaakov girls graduating high school to Beis Yaakov girls getting engaged six months later. 

Navon reportedly finds her way to the feed at least once a week – though if you ask her, it’s always by accident. “I was just clicking through and it came up,” she said, “I don’t even follow them. On my main account, I mean.” 

Chana-Leah Baskin, Navon’s roommate, claims she overheard Navon quietly sobbing late last night. “She kept muttering ‘Rochel wasn’t even cool in third grade, how is she getting married before me?’ under her breath. I mean, she’s right – but I heard Rochel’s fiancé is an English major at SUNY Buffalo, so big whoop.” 

Baskin showed Schmear reporters Navon’s collage of photos with her own face digitally edited onto popular OnlySimchas posts. There were also several pictures of her high school ex-boyfriends, with numbers in the margins ranking them by attractiveness, success, and potential for rekindling the relationship. Navon declined to comment.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
Like Loading...

Related

Posted byJonMarch 2, 2021April 9, 2021Posted inNewsTags:account, boyfriend, college, crying, engaged, engagement, instagram, jealous, jewish, jewish culture, jewish geography, lonely, love, married, only simchas, tag, wedding

Post navigation

Previous Post Previous post:
Breaking: Passover Basically Tomorrow
Next Post Next post:
Ten Ways to Let That Saucy Boy Across the Bar Know That You’d Let Him Wreck You 24 Hours a Day Except for on Shabbos

Facebook

Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

My Tweets
Website Powered by WordPress.com.
  • Reblog
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • theschmear.com
    • Join 157 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • theschmear.com
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Copy shortlink
    • Report this content
    • View post in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
%d