BERKELEY, CA — Clad in tight-fitting leather fetishwear, local dominatrix Susie Sanders told reporters that her attendance at a rally in support of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement that took place on the quad of UC Berkeley last Monday was unintentional.
“I came here to fuck,” said Sanders, who was looking to participate in a hardcore BDSM orgy. “I’m not really a political activist. The only violent oppression I’m interested in is completely consensual and involves a lot more nipple clamps.”
The other attendees were equally confused by Sanders’ attendance. “At first I thought her harness and matching gimp mask were part of some kind of performance protest art piece emphasizing the motivations behind complex power structures,” said UC Berkeley sophomore and BDS activist Kelly Laughlin, “but the riding crop in her hand – which for a moment I thought symbolized the dehumanizing effect advanced technology can have in the context of the multifaceted and complex struggle in the Middle East – was kind of a tip-off that she was actually only there to sexually dominate consenting partners.”
On her way home, Sanders was seen handing out fliers for her bi-monthly gang bang in Irvine.