Jew Spots Other Jew on Campus, Wants Him to Know He’s Also Jewish

NASHVILLE, TN — After spotting a kippah-clad male student crossing campus on Monday, Vanderbilt University Hillel secretary Jacob Rubin reportedly wanted to signal to him that he, too, identified as a member of the Jewish religion.

“I tried making eye contact, but he didn’t notice,” Rubin said, still looking over his shoulder and tracking the student. “So I tried something more drastic. As he walked by, I pretended to be on the phone speaking Hebrew. No dice.”

At press time, eye witnesses claimed to have seen Rubin following the yet unidentified student, furiously shouting the mezonot blessing before scarfing down a whole wheat everything bagel in a desperate attempt for him to recognize their shared faith.

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