Tag Archives: hebrew

Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers

QUEENS, NY — Following staffing shortages at Ramaz Upper School, the principal, Mr. Joshua Adelman, was seen Monday in John F. Kennedy International Airport Terminal 4 searching for potential Hebrew teachers arriving from an El-Al flight. “We’re looking for anyone that can speak the language, basically,” Adelman told reporters while hiding behind a large fernContinue reading “Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers”

Students Baffled By Non-Jewish Teacher Saying “Shabbat Shalom”

MIAMI, FL — Students at Miami Hebrew Academy were shocked to their core this Friday morning when physics teacher Christine Harlan bid them “Shabbat Shalom.” Junior Ahuva  Wexler said she felt “caught super off guard” at the fact that her teacher knew words in their secret language. Her classmate Evan Rosenthal said, “Most of ourContinue reading “Students Baffled By Non-Jewish Teacher Saying “Shabbat Shalom””

Jew Spots Other Jew on Campus, Wants Him to Know He’s Also Jewish

NASHVILLE, TN — After spotting a kippah-clad male student crossing campus on Monday, Vanderbilt University Hillel secretary Jacob Rubin reportedly wanted to signal to him that he, too, identified as a member of the Jewish religion. “I tried making eye contact, but he didn’t notice,” Rubin said, still looking over his shoulder and tracking theContinue reading “Jew Spots Other Jew on Campus, Wants Him to Know He’s Also Jewish”

Opinion: I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.

I’m the youngest child in my immediate family – including my 17 first cousins – so it makes sense that I did the four questions when I was a kid. Maybe I even did them a little longer than the average person did, right? I mean, no younger siblings or cousins to take over forContinue reading “Opinion: I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.”

Jewish Cemetery Vandalized With Graffiti Portraits of Shimon Peres, Community Confused

NEW ORLEANS, LA — Police responded to a vandalism call at the Hebrew Rest Cemetery late last night, where they discovered that the gate to the Jewish cemetery was broken, the sign was torn down, and many gravestones were covered in spray paint.  Of the nine grave markers that were painted, seven were marked withContinue reading “Jewish Cemetery Vandalized With Graffiti Portraits of Shimon Peres, Community Confused”