HUDSON RIVER, NY — Deep in the waters of the Hudson River, byswimmers overheard local fish Blub-Glub McCod loudly exclaim his fear of one day being used in gefilte fish this past Wednesday.
“Just the thought of being ground up into one of those gelatinous fish-logs really grinds my gills,” McCod said to his school of fellow whitefish through bursts of bubbles. “Jewish delicacy, more like, uh… ew-ish… pelican-pee… am I right, fellas?”
When questioned whether he was more against the food itself or the Jews, McCod held nothing back.
“Oh, the Jews for sure,” he said, “Just because I have fins and scales doesn’t mean those grubby little Heebs can touch me.” Several of the whitefish present remarked that this comment made them feel uncomfortable, but had no response due to their school’s lack of antisemitism education seminars.
Since the confession, McCod’s location has been unknown – it is suspected that he has been detained by the Mossad and is being pressed for information on fellow whitefish-supremacists, using unlawful and inhumane torture methods like horseradish.