Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus

SYRACUSE, NY — Justin Kreischman, a freshman at Syracuse University, recently revealed to reporters that, despite his outwardly normal college life, he spends his nights lying awake, wishing he could have the chance to yell at people about Israel. Attending the American Israel Public Affairs Committee Policy Conference every year of high school inspired KreischmanContinue reading “Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus”

5 Famous Antisemites Who Were Probably Just Jealous

1. Pharaoh One of the earliest and most well-known antisemites, everyone knows Pharaoh was just envious of the Jews’ growth rate and threatened by their work ethic. Sorry, but that doesn’t really justify throwing babies in the Nile. Try seeing a therapist or journaling next time. 2. Henry Ford Most well known for distributing TheContinue reading “5 Famous Antisemites Who Were Probably Just Jealous”

Man In Political Debate Just Itching To Bring Up Holocaust

NEW YORK, NY — Engaged in a heated debate about gun control, New York University sophomore Rafi Melamed could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of using the most devastating human tragedy in modern history to further his argument.  According to eyewitnesses, Melamed’s face turned a bright red and large veins protruded from hisContinue reading “Man In Political Debate Just Itching To Bring Up Holocaust”

Anti-Semitic Fish Voices Fear Of One Day Becoming Gefilte

HUDSON RIVER, NY — Deep in the waters of the Hudson River, byswimmers overheard local fish Blub-Glub McCod loudly exclaim his fear of one day being used in gefilte fish this past Wednesday. “Just the thought of being ground up into one of those gelatinous fish-logs really grinds my gills,” McCod said to his schoolContinue reading “Anti-Semitic Fish Voices Fear Of One Day Becoming Gefilte”

Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In

ST LOUIS, MO — At Washington University in St. Louis’ prospective student visiting day on Sunday, high school senior Jason Wolman spent far too much time asking about the presence of anti-Zionist organization BDS on campus, for someone with very little chance of being accepted to the college in the first place.  “This stuff isContinue reading “Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In”