Tragic: Woman Digging Through Chulent For Chunk Of Beef Fooled By Meat-Like Potato

When shacharit is coming to a closeAnd all the men do stand and take their leaveTheir tallit wrapped around as snow-white robesThe kiddish club doth meet beneath the eaves They deign to miss the torah read out liveAnd Musaf p’raps shall not return to prayFor though they may be pushing thirty fiveThey need a shotContinue reading “Tragic: Woman Digging Through Chulent For Chunk Of Beef Fooled By Meat-Like Potato”

Study Discovers Horniest Place On Earth: Your Campus Hillel’s Shabbat Service

YOUR CAMPUS HILLEL — A groundbreaking meta-analysis of a sociological survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau proved mathematically that the Shabbat services hosted by your campus Hillel are quantitatively the horniest place on Earth. University Hillels proudly offer multiple Friday night services geared towards different denominations of Judaism, all of which are practically anContinue reading “Study Discovers Horniest Place On Earth: Your Campus Hillel’s Shabbat Service”

Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv

OAK PARK, MI — Hoping to encourage a stricter level of Shabbat observance in the community, Rabbi Benjamin Fuchs declared a prohibition last Thursday morning on carrying any form of emotional guilt on Shabbat without a proper Eruv.  “I just don’t know how I’m going to get to Shul now,” said Oak Park resident DevorahContinue reading “Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv”