Local Kid Won’t Stop Talking About NFTY, For Some Reason

CLEVELAND, OH — Classmates of local high school junior Jared Shuman continue to be shocked, annoyed, and almost impressed by the sheer amount of words that Shuman is able to say every single day about NFTY.

Shuman, who serves as regional vice president of the Reform Jewish Youth Movement, has worn a different NFTY-related shirt every day for the past three months. Despite no one ever asking him to, he tells the story behind the convention or program where he got that shirt every morning.

Regardless of which class he is in, he manages to bring up the fact that he was recently elected to the regional board, classmates report.

“In APUSH, any time we learn about a different state, he mentions he has a friend there from NFTY,” said Hannah Miller, another junior. “In Chemistry, he mentions that his friend who recruited him two years ago is now pre-med at OSU.”

“His Instagram story is really something else,” said another classmate, Ethan Klein. “Did you know there’s a convention coming up and that NFTY supports Israel? Because all of Jared’s followers sure do.”

According to Miller, she and about 15 other students in the school are proud members of NFTY. “Well, proud until Jared tries to corner us in the hallway to gossip about his co-board members,” she explained. “I love NFTY, but I don’t want people thinking I’m as crazy as he is.”

When asked if he would follow in his brother’s steps, Henry Shuman, Jared’s brother in 9th grade, said, “No chance in hell I’m joining that Jew cult.”

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