Trees Thinking Of Just Staying In For Birthday This Year

The Forest — In a statement on Saturday night, one day before Tu Bishvat, the world’s trees announced that they decided to stay in for their birthday this year.

“Look,” they said, “in a normal year, we love our collective birthday. We get all barked up and do our leaves all nice, but with all the craziness this year, we just want to stay in and get some rest.”

“Plus,” they added, “It’s not like we’re gonna be around for much longer with the way you’ve been treating us.”

The post ended with a line saying, “In lieu of gifts, please make a donation in honor of MLK Day. #freedom #samebirthday” 

At press time, the trees expressed hope that they would be more in the mood to party on Arbor Day.

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