WALTHAM, MA — In a shocking breaking story, eight Brandeis applicants referred to the same “final camp Havdalah” in their application essays, all claiming to have led the service.
Names of the applicants have not been released, although rumors are spreading that at least 7 of them were in the same Gesher bunk at Camp Ramah in the Berkshires.
According to an anonymous source in the Brandeis admissions office, “About 4 of the essays dealt with the leadership opportunity of being asked to lead their favorite service in front of the camp on their last Shabbat as campers. Two of them were about their emotional journey through 8 years of camp, culminating in leading this service. One merely used it as an example of how they love to sing and hope to be a cantor. And one essay was actually about the personal dilemma of being asked by the counselors to lead havdalah, and how they felt like they were betraying their best friend, who had also wanted to lead. Yes, that friend was another one of our applicants.”
A camp staff member has confirmed that only one person customarily leads havdalah, but he does not remember who it was exactly on the last Shabbat of the summer of 2019.
“It’s Maccabi-gate all over again,” the admissions officer sighed, referring to the time in 2009 when captains from all four Color War teams at the same camp claimed in their essays to have led their teams to victory on the very same day.
“The problem is these Jewish camp kids think they know exactly what we want to hear, and they’ll lie about being a leader,” the admissions officer said. “Just once, I wish someone would write about how in their whole bunk, they were the best follower!”