HOLLYWOOD, FL — Sitting on the floor of the local synagogue social hall, invitees to Gabrielle Stein’s Bat Mitzvah wiped away tears during her poorly assembled montage while Green Day’s fifth most popular song played in the background.
“I mean, I just felt like the song was so funky and unique. It was a close call between that and ‘Just the Way You Are’ by Bruno Mars, but I think I made the right choice,” said Stein’s mother, Ariella, before taking her fourth shot of Crown Royal.
Despite generic feelings of good vibes, others were less thrilled with the soundtrack.
“I can’t believe they used that song,” said Gabrielle’s friend, Katie Gold. “I literally had it in my Bat Mitzvah montage last week. She better not have customized water bottles as giveaway gifts.”
When asked for comment, Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong said, “How did you get in my house? Please leave.”