Baby in Back of Synagogue Must Like REALLY Hate Haman

SEATTLE, WA — Congregation Beth Shalom’s Emma Geller, the 4-month old daughter of Meital and Ben Geller, showed her admirably staunch disapproval of the evil Haman’s attempted genocide of our people Erev Purim, when she would not stop crying through literally the entire Megillah reading.

Emma began crying as soon as Rabbi Eric Horowitz began reading the first chapter of the Megillah, and did not stop until well after Dr. Avraham Kleiman concluded the tenth chapter. “At first, I was furious and annoyed that she kept crying,” said congregant Mrs. Irene Wolfson, “but then it occurred to me. That baby must hate Haman – like, really hate him. And that is exactly the kind of passion that we need to bring back into the younger generations of Jews.”

Community members have speculated on how it is possible for someone who was born so recently to already have such strong feelings about the Persian vizier who tried to have the Jews killed around 2500 years ago.

“Maybe she’s already telling us that she will be a great prophetess for our generation,” said Emma’s grandmother Debbie Geller. “The way her crying got more intense every time the name Haman was read and the whole room filled up abruptly with the sound of groggers – I think she really understands the roots of our struggles as a people and how that translates into the realities of modern antisemitism.”

“Emma’s impassioned response to the Megillah reading gives me hope for the Jewish future,” said Rabbi Horowitz.

Neither Emma nor her parents could give a comment on this revelation, as her parents were drunk in the social hall, and Emma was chewing on a string of Mardi Gras beads and is a baby.

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