Sephardic COVID Patient Relieved to Lose Sense of Taste Right Before Visiting Ashkenaz In-Laws for Passover

SEATTLE, WA — After a long battle with the COVID-19 virus, local graduate student Aaron Abarbanel was relieved to find his lost sense of taste and smell have not yet returned, just in time to visit his in-laws of Polish descent. 

“When I go over there I already have to shovel cold pressure-cooker brisket and boiled chicken down my gullet,” said Abarbanel, “but then on top of that I have to pretend that I like it? Thank god I get a year’s respite.” 

Abarbanel’s wife, Sara Abarbanel neé Lifschitz, supported her husband through this turbulent time: “Aaron’s battle with Covid was such a stressful time, I’m just glad he’s still with us. And after what he’s been through, he deserves a break – if he had to suffer through that and my mother’s cooking… I don’t know if he has the strength to survive.”

Relieved, Aaron is looking forward to a Passover dinner where he doesn’t have to fake-complement his way through a night with the in-laws. “We already have a rocky relationship. Now, at least I don’t have to deal with the flavorlessness of the so-called food. But I can’t escape the texture. Why do Ashkenazim prefer their food slimy?”

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