matzah

Sad: Omer Advent Calendar Just Leftover Passover Products

Enough Already: How The Fuck Is It Still Passover?

Life Hack: How To Whittle A Matzah Shiv In Case The Seder Gets Rowdy

Shocking: Easter Bunny Caught Breaking Into Jewish Home, Chugging Eliyahu’s Cup

Mom Adds Xanax To Seder Plate After Seeing On Facebook Reels

Experience The Agony Of Jews In Egypt This Passover By Self-Filing Your Taxes

Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert

THE DESERT — On an archaeological excavation last Thursday, noted biblical and Jewish day school teacher, Dr. Albain Halfstead, reportedly discovered a papyrus scroll that explained the historical context behind the invention of matzah. “Those of us familiar with the Old Testament will know the story of the Jews leaving Egypt in such haste thatContinue reading “Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert”

Stoner Regrets Getting High On Passover, Only Has Hillel Sandwich To Satisfy Munchies

BROOKLYN, NY – Forgoing the four cups of wine and opting instead for a fat joint, local publicist and social media manager David Fischman found himself at the end of Had Gadya with an incessant case of the munchies. “So I’m holding my joint in one hand while the other is halfway through dialing theContinue reading “Stoner Regrets Getting High On Passover, Only Has Hillel Sandwich To Satisfy Munchies”

Child Searching For Afikomen Stumbles Upon Adoption Certificate

Seder Ruined By Know-It-All Teen In Atheist Phase

BUFFALO, NY — During the Magid section of the Passover Seder, the Schaufmans read through the story of the Jews’ salvation from their oppression at the hands of the Egyptians – but 15-year-old member of the family, Hillel, had a few objections. “God came down with a strong hand and outstretched arm and liberated theContinue reading “Seder Ruined By Know-It-All Teen In Atheist Phase”