quarantine

Uh-Oh: Rabbi On Synagogue Zoom Call Still Cannot Work Out Volume Settings

ORLANDO, FL — Despite it being nearly two years since the Covid-19 pandemic began, Rabbi Eric Abramson of Congregation Gesher L’Shalom still struggles to adjust the volume on Zoom calls. The congregation holds morning minyan on Zoom twice a week, led by the 47-year-old Rabbi. According to synagogue members, Rabbi Abramson’s Divrei Torah are nearlyContinue reading “Uh-Oh: Rabbi On Synagogue Zoom Call Still Cannot Work Out Volume Settings”

Sephardic COVID Patient Relieved to Lose Sense of Taste Right Before Visiting Ashkenaz In-Laws for Passover

SEATTLE, WA — After a long battle with the COVID-19 virus, local graduate student Aaron Abarbanel was relieved to find his lost sense of taste and smell have not yet returned, just in time to visit his in-laws of Polish descent. “When I go over there I already have to shovel cold pressure-cooker brisket andContinue reading “Sephardic COVID Patient Relieved to Lose Sense of Taste Right Before Visiting Ashkenaz In-Laws for Passover”

Opinion: I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.

I’m the youngest child in my immediate family – including my 17 first cousins – so it makes sense that I did the four questions when I was a kid. Maybe I even did them a little longer than the average person did, right? I mean, no younger siblings or cousins to take over forContinue reading “Opinion: I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.”