Prospective Student at College Fair Way Too Worried About BDS on Campus, Considering He Probably Won’t Even Get In

ST LOUIS, MO — At Washington University in St. Louis’ prospective student visiting day on Sunday, high school senior Jason Wolman spent far too much time asking about the presence of anti-Zionist organization BDS on campus, for someone with very little chance of being accepted to the college in the first place. 

“This stuff is really scary,” said Wolman. “I mean, I always wear a kippah. What happens if someone with anti-Israel tendencies gives me trouble for that? I almost didn’t even apply because of the thought.”

WashU junior Anna Katzenberg was manning Hillel’s tent on campus when Wolman pulled her aside to ask about her campus’ pro-Palestinian movements. “BDS honestly isn’t really a problem here,” Katzenberg later explained, “and I kept saying that to him. I tried to tell him that maybe he should get admitted to the school before worrying about it, but he wouldn’t have it.”

“Oh, Jason? He’s an idiot,” said Wolman’s high school guidance counselor Randal McPherson. “WashU has an average SAT score of like 1500. Trust me, Jason will be attending other institutions come the fall semester.”

%d bloggers like this: