Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv

OAK PARK, MI — Hoping to encourage a stricter level of Shabbat observance in the community, Rabbi Benjamin Fuchs declared a prohibition last Thursday morning on carrying any form of emotional guilt on Shabbat without a proper Eruv. 

“I just don’t know how I’m going to get to Shul now,” said Oak Park resident Devorah Silverman. “I always carry this tremendous yoke of guilt with me everywhere I go. I got it from my mother, who got it from her mother — it’s practically a family heirloom at this point.”

Indeed, the lack of attendance in synagogue on Shabbat was considered a searing indictment of what some are claiming is the biggest overstepping of Rabbinic authority since the two sink debacle.     

At press time, Rabbi Fuchs reportedly rescinded the decree after realizing that overwhelming guilt was the only reason anyone attended synagogue in the first place.

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