Reform Congregation Ditches Traditional Prayer, Switches To Rap Battles

MANHATTAN, NY — Attempting to appeal to the local youth, Reform congregation Temple Beth Emet made the brave decision last week to begin conducting prayers in the form of a rap battle. 

“I needed a way to engage the community’s younger crowd,” said Head Rabbi, Shoshana Steiner. “I figured, you know, I’ve listened to Hamilton so how hard could it be to turn the Shema into a rap?”

Rabbi Shoshana reportedly requested current teen members write raps based on the parsha for the coming week. 

“I’m battling my cousin Jacob at his Bar Mitzvah next week in front of everyone. I’ve got some sick bars, check this out,” said Zachary Mintz before spitting straight fire. “‘Nadav and Avihu, more like Nadav and AviWHO. Don’t mess with me or I’ll make a sacrifice out of you.’ Boom, mic drop. Jacob won’t know what hit him.”

At press time, Jacob Mintz was witnessed watching the 2002 film 8 Mile with his Bar Mitzvah tutor and vigorously taking notes.

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