NEW ROCHELLE, NY — Despite the usage of an embroidered silk cover, a humiliated loaf of challah discovered last Saturday that before the HaMotzi blessing, a blessing had already been made on a cup of wine.
“I’ve always been told you’re supposed to make a bracha on bread first,” said the sobbing and lightly-toasted pretzel challah. “But here I find out that they not only made a blessing on wine first, but they did it on a $5 bottle of Kedem concord grape wine. I can’t believe I trusted them.” The pretzel loaf was inconsolable, despite the best efforts of a stale pita loaf used as the second bread necessary for the blessing.
“What happened to the sanctity of the grain? The holiness of HaMotzi?” said a furious pita. “This is absurd. A kangaroo court!”
At press time, eyewitnesses reported the challah screaming out in agony as a serrated bread knife repeatedly hacked it to pieces.