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Gym Bro Can’t Understand How Haredim Bench Three Times A Day

Ashkenaz Family Scouring To Find Birchon For Sephardic Guest

Recently Uncovered Challah Embarrassed To Find Out Bracha Made On Wine First

NEW ROCHELLE, NY — Despite the usage of an embroidered silk cover, a humiliated loaf of challah discovered last Saturday that before the HaMotzi blessing, a blessing had already been made on a cup of wine. “I’ve always been told you’re supposed to make a bracha on bread first,” said the sobbing and lightly-toasted pretzelContinue reading “Recently Uncovered Challah Embarrassed To Find Out Bracha Made On Wine First”

Report: There’s A Dinosaur Knocking At My Door

Overworked Oven Can’t Wait To Be Put On Shabbat Mode

QUEENS, NY — Exhausted by a tough week of high-temperature cooking, a local oven expressed its anticipation to observe a day of rest this weekend by going on Shabbat mode. “I’ve been set at 425 pretty much every night this week,” the oven said as it cooled down from cooking a Thursday night turkey forContinue reading “Overworked Oven Can’t Wait To Be Put On Shabbat Mode”

Lactose Intolerant Ashkenaz Masochist Serves Third Cheesecake Of Shavuot

BOSTON, MA — On the second night of Shavuot, Jessica Gelman served yet another cheesecake for dessert, laughing with glee at the effect it would soon have on her lactose-intolerant family. “I know there’s some kabbalistic meaning behind abstaining from meat on Shavuot, but to me, it’s just the one day a year I getContinue reading “Lactose Intolerant Ashkenaz Masochist Serves Third Cheesecake Of Shavuot”

How to Get Your Club Penguin Igloo Ready for Passover

Passover is coming up and you just cleansed your house of chametz, but now you need to do the same for your penguin in Club Penguin. Here are some helpful hints to get your igloo ready for Pesach! 1. Get rid of the obvious chametz Take that table full of treats and change it backContinue reading “How to Get Your Club Penguin Igloo Ready for Passover”