Top 10 Nights of Hanukkah

Yup, it’s that time of year again, that period of several days characterized by consuming obscene amounts of jelly doughnuts and pretending to appreciate the fuzzy socks your aunt gave you — it’s Hanukkah. So, in commemoration of this special holiday, let’s take a look at the top 10 nights of the Festival of Lights.

10. Night 2

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing special about lighting two candles. We do it every Friday night anyway. Total waste of candles.

9. Night 5

Oh, the asymmetry. 

8. Night 7

And to think, it’s almost over. By now most of the good presents are gone, the painful reality that you’re not getting the watch you asked for is setting in, and the debt from your dreidel gambling is catching up to you. 

7. Night 3

Eating several doughnuts every day is starting to seem like a bad idea.

6. Night 6

The sixth night of Hanukkah.

5. Night 4

Halfway there. The novelty of singing all 13 verses of Ma’oz Tzur with your family every night is just about starting to wear off. 

4. Night 8

Or, according to Shammai, Night 1.

3. Christmas

Everyone’s favorite night of Hanukkah. Traditionally celebrated by going to the movies, eating Chinese food, and fleeing pogroms. 

2. The Night Before Hanukkah

Umm… Yeah. Let’s go with that. Because you’re excited…. For the start. Of Hanukkah.

1. Night 1

Let’s be real here, the best night of Hanukkah is the first one. All of the excitement of centuries-old tradition, friends, family, and the smell of latkes filling the air, along with the potential of like nine or so more nights to come.

%d bloggers like this: