Uh-Oh: Rabbi On Synagogue Zoom Call Still Cannot Work Out Volume Settings

ORLANDO, FL — Despite it being nearly two years since the Covid-19 pandemic began, Rabbi Eric Abramson of Congregation Gesher L’Shalom still struggles to adjust the volume on Zoom calls.

The congregation holds morning minyan on Zoom twice a week, led by the 47-year-old Rabbi. According to synagogue members, Rabbi Abramson’s Divrei Torah are nearly always impossible to hear, while his mumblings to himself during the silent Amidah cut clearly through the computer to interrupt the other worshippers.

Last Sunday, on a Zoom shiva call for the mother of congregant Marc Heller, Abramson encouraged everyone present to unmute in order to respond to the mourner’s Kaddish, which took approximately 5 minutes to read through due to feedback and poor connections. 

“His Divrei Torah are always impossible to hear,” said congregant Yonah Eisenberg, “but for some reason when he mumbles the silent Amidah it sounds like prayer ASMR. I hear every single breath he takes while praying, so why can’t I hear why Rashi thinks God hardened Pharaoh’s heart?”

“Don’t get me started on his wife Hadassah,” said a minyan member who spoke on condition of anonymity. “She sits in a different room but her singing is so loud you can hear it on the Rabbi’s sound too. Not to mention that the phone in that house rings like it’s a never-ending telethon.”

At press time, the congregants recited a prayer for the sick, Rabbi Abramson was heard yelling at his dog for peeing on the carpet.

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