This Side Of Mechitza A Real Sausage Fest

Everyone knows we all go to synagogue for one reason and one reason only: the chicks. What’s better than average sex that you don’t have to feel guilty about because your partner is definitely Jewish? I banged my way through the Egalitarian synagogue I usually go to and decided to try the Sephardic one downContinue reading “This Side Of Mechitza A Real Sausage Fest”

I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song

Ok so my rabbi brings a “new” niggun from his hometown? Sure… anybody knows that Jews never make new songs. It was a good effort disguising “Bad Guy” with nonsense niggun syllables but still – I’m not buying it. It was a weird song choice but I’m most confused about how the rabbi found outContinue reading “I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song”

I Promise There isn’t Chametz in my Internet History so you Definitely don’t have to Look There

As you start to search high and low for chametz in your houses, I understand that you’ll need to check under every couch cushion and between every fold in every sweater, but I promise you that there is no chametz in my browser history, so it’s honestly just not even worth looking there. I knowContinue reading “I Promise There isn’t Chametz in my Internet History so you Definitely don’t have to Look There”

I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.

I’m the youngest child in my immediate family – including my 17 first cousins – so it makes sense that I did the four questions when I was a kid. Maybe I even did them a little longer than the average person did, right? I mean, no younger siblings or cousins to take over forContinue reading “I’m in My 20’s and Still Doing the Four Questions. What the Fuck.”

The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups

We all flip our latkes in the air sometimes, but if you can no longer do it without singing a Taio Cruz parody, then we can agree on something important — the world does not need any more Jewish a cappella groups. For thousands of years, our Jewish heritage has been kept alive by theContinue reading “The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups”

To be Honest, Haman Could Get It

Have you ever read the Megillah and thought “Damn… Esther really went for the wrong guy”? Because honestly, I’m with you. Not that if I was in her place I wouldn’t have saved all the Jews, but if I’m being totally truthful, I might have gotten distracted once I was in that palace because, toContinue reading “To be Honest, Haman Could Get It”

Please Don’t Tell My Bubbe About My Tattoo

Times are changing, and as we become more progressive, we accept more and more things that used to be taboo – things like divorces, facial piercings, and same-sex marriages. Though we have begun to normalize things like this, those in the older generations still may not be as accepting as us in the younger ones.Continue reading “Please Don’t Tell My Bubbe About My Tattoo”

You Can Write Papers that Aren’t About Judaism

We’ve all been there. You have your big final paper coming up. The one with as broad and vague a topic as can be. You’re overwhelmed. You have the whole universe of things tangentially related to the topic of your class to choose from. This does not mean that you have to write about Judaism.Continue reading “You Can Write Papers that Aren’t About Judaism”

Inventing the Cherry Tomato Doesn’t Excuse Israel’s Actions

I am a proud Zionist, and there are many things that make me proud of my home nation – so when I hear people on campus discussing Israel, I am quick to respond with the many ways that Israel has actually made the world a better place: Waze, USB drives, drip irrigation, and so muchContinue reading “Inventing the Cherry Tomato Doesn’t Excuse Israel’s Actions”

Stop Talking About Your Camp

Enough already.  Just because we’re both Jewish, it doesn’t mean I want to hear about your “life-changing” past Jewish experiences all the time. People have to stop talking about their camps and youth groups (unless they are the same ones I went to). Seriously, we are in college. We’re adults, and high school is aContinue reading “Stop Talking About Your Camp”