Only Jewish Employee At Kosher Pizzeria Makes Big Bucks Just To Turn On Ovens

ELIZABETH, NJ — Grinning smugly as he turned the oven to 350° Fahrenheit, local teenager Moshe Goldfarb confirmed that he had been hired last week at Jerusalem Pizza in Elizabeth, New Jersey to operate the restaurant’s ovens, thereby circumventing the prohibition of Bishul Akum (cooking by gentiles).

“The job really allows me to apply what I’ve learned so far as a business administration major at Rutgers,” Goldfarb said. “I’m learning a lot about the oven industry and have been building great relationships with my co-workers.”

“We hate that guy,” said José Hernandez, one of Goldfarb’s co-workers. “They pay him five bucks more than us per hour and he’s always just playing a pizzeria simulator game on his phone.”

At press time, Hernandez was witnessed turning on the oven himself as Goldfarb sent out a mass “streak” selfie on Snapchat. 

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