I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song

Ok so my rabbi brings a “new” niggun from his hometown? Sure… anybody knows that Jews never make new songs. It was a good effort disguising “Bad Guy” with nonsense niggun syllables but still – I’m not buying it. It was a weird song choice but I’m most confused about how the rabbi found outContinue reading “I’m Starting to Think This Niggun is a Billie Eilish Song”

Study Finds Debbie Friedman’s “Mi Shebeirach” More Effective Than Moderna, Pfizer, and Johnson & Johnson Vaccines

BALTIMORE, MD — A recent study from Johns Hopkins has determined that while the Moderna, Pfizer, and Johnson & Johnson vaccines are effective for preventing COVID-19, the best cure available is a soulful rendition of Debbie Friedman’s “Mi Shebeirach” prayer. The study observed 10,000 vaccine recipients and 500 temples, youth groups, and Hebrew school classesContinue reading “Study Finds Debbie Friedman’s “Mi Shebeirach” More Effective Than Moderna, Pfizer, and Johnson & Johnson Vaccines”

The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups

We all flip our latkes in the air sometimes, but if you can no longer do it without singing a Taio Cruz parody, then we can agree on something important — the world does not need any more Jewish a cappella groups. For thousands of years, our Jewish heritage has been kept alive by theContinue reading “The World Does Not Need More Jewish A Cappella Groups”

Oh No: Camp Rabbi Pulling Out Guitar for Some Reason

TOWNSEND, TN — While campers aged 8 to 14 were finishing their lunches of soy chicken nuggets, ominous whispers started to pass between the campers closer to the front of the dining hall. In just moments, the news had reached even the bunk forced to sit next to the supply closet in the back: theContinue reading “Oh No: Camp Rabbi Pulling Out Guitar for Some Reason”

Yet Another Yeshiva Boys Choir Member Goes Missing After Reaching Puberty

NEW YORK, NY — Yeshiva Boys Choir lead singer Aharon Greenberg mysteriously vanished this week after reportedly discovering his first armpit hair, leading fans of the singing group to wonder what exactly happens to the Yeshiva Boys when they reach puberty. Aharon, age 12, has been singing with the Choir since he was five yearsContinue reading “Yet Another Yeshiva Boys Choir Member Goes Missing After Reaching Puberty”