Tag Archives: seder

Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert

THE DESERT — On an archaeological excavation last Thursday, noted biblical and Jewish day school teacher, Dr. Albain Halfstead, reportedly discovered a papyrus scroll that explained the historical context behind the invention of matzah.  “Those of us familiar with the Old Testament will know the story of the Jews leaving Egypt in such haste thatContinue reading “Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert”

Stoner Regrets Getting High On Passover, Only Has Hillel Sandwich To Satisfy Munchies

BROOKLYN, NY – Forgoing the four cups of wine and opting instead for a fat joint, local publicist and social media manager David Fischman found himself at the end of Had Gadya with an incessant case of the munchies.  “So I’m holding my joint in one hand while the other is halfway through dialing theContinue reading “Stoner Regrets Getting High On Passover, Only Has Hillel Sandwich To Satisfy Munchies”

Breaking: Grandma Really Shouldn’t Have Drank All Four Cups Of Wine

SEATTLE, WA — Chugging her fourth cup of wine, Ethel Silver changed what started out as a wholesome Seder with loved ones into a frantic trip to the emergency room. “She had that look in her eyes, and I immediately knew something was wrong,” said Jacob Silver, concerned grandson. “The only other time I’ve seenContinue reading “Breaking: Grandma Really Shouldn’t Have Drank All Four Cups Of Wine”