Local Non-Jew Wondering Why Her Roommate Keeps Complaining About the Temperature While Making Direct Eye Contact Every Saturday

ANN ARBOR, MI — University of Michigan freshman Savannah Waterford is unsure about why her roommate Yael Berger keeps complaining about the temperature every Saturday until sundown while making awkward eye contact. “That’s not the only thing she does,” Waterford said. “It seems like every Friday night, she gets into bed with the lights on,Continue reading “Local Non-Jew Wondering Why Her Roommate Keeps Complaining About the Temperature While Making Direct Eye Contact Every Saturday”

Instagram Activist Calls Out Non-Jewish Friends Who Posted for Earth Day and Not Tu Bishvat

HYDE PARK, IL — Avid social activist Julie Bloomfeld was shocked to see the slew of Earth Day posts on her non-Jewish friend’s Instagram stories, when not a single one of them said a word about Tu Bishvat only a few months ago. “Earth Day is basically just a knock-off Tu Bishvat,” said Bloomfeld. “IContinue reading “Instagram Activist Calls Out Non-Jewish Friends Who Posted for Earth Day and Not Tu Bishvat”

Uh Oh: The Goy Just Touched the Wine Bottle at the Dinner Table

HOUSTON, TX — Brian Goodman didn’t think anything terrible could happen when he invited his weird uncle Robert over for dinner with his family, but all that changed when his Uncle’s new girlfriend Kim poured herself a glass of Baron Herzog Special Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon. “It happened almost in slow motion,” Goodman said via aContinue reading “Uh Oh: The Goy Just Touched the Wine Bottle at the Dinner Table”

Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are

Have you ever looked at a celebrity and thought “man, they have to be Jewish” – only to be disappointed when you check their Wikipedia page? Us too! Which is why we’ve compiled our top ten favorite fake-out goys! These are The Schmear’s official rankings of non-Jewish celebrities based on how Jewish they are. 10.Continue reading “Ranking Non-Jewish Celebrities by How Jewish they Are”

The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group

Yes, there are plenty of us who do not live in Jew-heavy areas – and quite often we end up the only Jew in our little group of friends. While we are often misunderstood, misrepresented, or flaunted for diversity, it’s not all bad! Here are some of the best parts of being the only JewContinue reading “The Perks of Being the Only Jew in Your Friend Group”